Sunday, March 8, 2020

Asian Boy Band BTS Performing at OU Spring Game!


FOS/B in T

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soonerpolitics.org

Notes bout Nuthin’

Top 5 entertainer prospects for Oklahoma Spring Game:
  1. BTS - Chinese boy band that resembles the Back Street Boys on crack!!  Currently, negotiations have ceased due to $s and Coronavirus!!
  2. Mickey Gilley - cheap and under budget but the Gilley folks say they are in major negotiations for the Tulsa spring game!
  3. Boys to Men - great for the Millennial crowd but a number of fufu OU boosters want the Foggy Mountain Boys with Restless Heart ’That Rock Won't Roll’!!!
  4. Grass Roots - The Sooner big donor era loves this group but the students are picketing the streets of Norman against having a group of hippies sing at the Sooner spring game!!
  5. Aerosmith - Lead singer Steven Tyler for Aerosmith just had his 6th lip injection and is possibly not available for the exact date of the Spring game!!  
ESPN Preseason College Football has OU ranked 3rd and Texas 7th!!
When did ESPN college football prognosticators start snorting baking soda?!?  Texas would be picked 7th in the Big 12 Conference or possibly 7th in the Union/Jenks Mighty Might Mouse League for kindergarteners!!  Please, having the name of TEXAS on your football uniform does not mean they can't suck AGAIN in 2020!!  The goodbye tour for Coach Herman begins with Spring Game in front on 80,000 misguided souls!!

Alabama Coach Grumpy Saban is on a Hiring Frenzy!!
Charlie Strong - Defensive Analyst 
Art Briles - Alabama Team Security
Major Applewhite - Offensive Analyst
Butch Jones - Systems Analyst
Steve Sarkesian - Saban walking off-field analyst 

B in T works out for Tulsa University Students at the Center!!
As a TU Grad back in 19 something the Center always has B in T guinney pig for the TU students!!  I always ask not to be with the cute TU girls!  Of course, they have a cute TU soccer lady for my tests!!  I now will overdue my exercises and send my blood pressure to the moon!!  As I pass out on the floor the young TU  soccer girl starts giving me mouth to mouth resuscitation and I wake up from my dream and go to lunch!!  True story!!

FOS Bobbleheads:

The Two Youngest B in T Granddaughters Have Extreme Talent at a Very Young Age!!
Two months old Charlotte and three months old Rosie have already shown tremendous hoop skills!!  Both of these you Pamper diaper dandies can palm a baby plum with one hand and shove it in their mouth within seconds!! Very fond of pre-game watermelon! This feat has been placed on YouTube with 400,000 likes in 24 hours!!  True shat!  Trust me!!  


FOS College Basketball Post Season Picks:

Big 12 Phillips 66 Tournament in Kansas City:

Oklahoma State 70 Iowa State 67
The Clones are using two Student Managers as their 7th and 8th players off the bench!!  Benny Cornholler from Maise High School was the all-time scorer in class C basketball in Iowa!!  He is averaging a triple-double in his last 4 games with the varsity Clones!!  He has poured 20 Gatorades, played 20 seconds in a varsity game and wet his pants 10 times!!  The other student manager spent the night in the Kevin Highland County Jail!!  This was based on a true B in T story but the names were changed to protect the guilty!!
Kevin Highland

 Oklahoma 79 West Virginia 65
The Sooner’s Austin Reaves, as in the TCU game, turned into Superman slash Pistol Pete Maravich and scored 24 points in the second fricken half!!  The Hilltopper Mountaineers Uni-bombers from West Virginia shot 27% from the field, 21% from the 3 point range and 20% from the dunk range!!!
American Athletic Conference Tournament in Little Dickies Arena Fort Worth, Texas:

Tulsa TBD - FOS will do TU and KU picks later in week!

SEC Conference Tournament:

Arkansas 80 Vanderbilt 70
The Hog fans travel very well and are experienced in hoarding all the seats in the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville!!  Evidently, the Vanderbilt folks sprayed Arkansas’ front row seats with skunk mating spray!!  Vanderbilt lost to TU by ten points thus Hogs by ten!!  Very, very scientific stuff from FOS/B in T!!

 Words of wisdom from the unwise one:  Clean your hands 50 times a day!!  At least!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS! B in T


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Saturday, February 29, 2020

Royal Couple Visits Mid-America Boccia


FOS/B in T

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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:
The Royal Couple Tour of the Midwest continues on May 1st and 2nd at the Midwest Boccia Championship in Overland Park, Kansas!!  Watching a high-level boccia tournament in Overland Park would be similar to watching Polo Tournaments for the Royal Family in England!!  Or possibly National Croquet Championship in Manchester!!  Numerous members from the Center for Physically Limited will be at the tournament and will meet Royalty, Mehgan and Harry at the Fuzzy Taco in Overland Park for a pre-tournament meal on May, 1!

 NEW*****FOS Over/Unders******NEW

Number of years the XFL lives:
FOS O/U - 2.5
Take the Under
When Bobby Stoops takes his clipboard and leaves, crumble goes the XFL!

 Number of players in the college football transfer portal for 2020?
FOS O/U - 400
Take the Over
Oklahoma still has some defensive studs contemplating the transfer portal!

 Number of wins for Arkansas football in 2020!!
FOS O/U - 6
Take the Under
I liked Chad Morris but I really like new coach Pittman!! Lets take the 5 win under and mucho improvement in 2020!


 Number of wins, end of season for the Oklahoma City Thunder:
FOS O/U - 47
Take the Over
Never bet against a team with a healthy point guard named Chris Paul!  Love his ball-handling and court vision!!

 Number of mock drums banging at Astro away games this season!!
FOS O/U - 250,000
Take the Over
Baseball fans can be very vindictive!!

 Number of times B in T gets frustrated and cusses at Cardinal Baseball this year:
FOS O/U - 162
Take the Under
B in T has new medicine to keep him calm during Cardinal and TU sports competition!!

 Number of area teams invited to post season college basketball tournaments:
FOS O/U - 3
Take the Over
TU - NIT - ‘Next year’ is a popular term among TU fans!
OU - NCAA - Sooner’s Big 12 tough Conference helps their at large bid!
Arkansas - NCAA - Arkansas limps into the Tourney but has something to prove to the Hog fans!
ORU - CBI - Good season for the Golden Eagles!
OSU - If OSU ends up 16-15 they will being invited to the NIT because of their nonconference schedule!  Love me some Coach Boynton!!

Number of points per game Freshman Bryce Thompson will score for the Kansas Jayhawks in 2020-2021:
FOS O/U - 15
Take the Over
Next year I will be a huge Kansas basketball 🏀fan!  Shhhhh keep it quiet!  Bryce will go pro after scoring 17.2 per game with 5 rebounds and 4 assist per game!!  The Thunder will trade up in the draft and take Bryce Thompson!!!!!!!

 FOS Bobbleheads:
Papa’s Gus Playing LaCrosse !!  
After watching my 5-year-old grandson with a small LaCrosse mallet, which looks like the bamboo tiki torches in my back yard, I definitely think the Gus has found his sport!!  I was the only grey-headed dude watching the LaCrosse practice but the young fathers and mothers watching the practice really need to get a life much more than I do!!

FOS College Basketball Picks!

Kentucky 71 at Florida 67
The Wildcats seem to play well in Gainsville, simply because they always have the better talent and better-looking cheerleaders!!  The Florida basketball court is now named after Thunder Coach Billy Donavan but Kentucky still treats it like Rupp Arena!!

 Texas Tech 67 Kansas 63
The Jayhawks and coach Hollywood Self are cruising to a number one seed!!  Tech is playing for their NCAA seeding lives and Kansas is playing for seats in front of the Kansas bandwagon leer jet!!  Tech needs the win more and not much to do in Lubbock this day!!

 Oklahoma State 78 at Texas 74
The Cowboy Boone twins which are in no way related to the senior female hotty Boone twins at Hale High School in the mid-70s are starting to play up to their freshman hype!!  Good things for the OSU Golden Coral in the future!!

 Texas A&M 71 Arkansas 70
A&M mascot Reveillry the dog hikes on the official after a bad call against the Aggies!!  Reveillry is given a technical foul and is not available for the first half of the next game!!

 TCU 81 Oklahoma 73
This game, in Fort Worth, is a must-win for both teams to make the big dance!!  Oklahoma’s performance arrow has been pointing down over the last part of the season and this can be very significant for the NCAA Selection Committee!!  As projected a loss here and an early finish in the Big 12 Conference Tournament will be devastating to the Sooners!!  Bubble team match up!

Tulsa 66 at Wichita State 65
Wichita, Kansas may be the only city in America that is best known for an oil company.  Koch Industries and wheat fields keep this community from being a convenience store on the way to Omaha, NE!!  As a homer, I have picked TU to win on a last-second tip-in by Matins Igbanu!!  Of course, this game is a key game for TU to have any chance at the NCAA tourney!  

Words of wisdom from the unwise one:  If you have courtside seats to a Tulsa basketball game, you cannot yell, as loudly, at the refs simply because they can HEAR YOU!!  I know..........

Have a great sports week!

FOS/B in T






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Monday, February 17, 2020

XFL: Do You Like the Kickoffs and the Fast Pace?!

FOS/B in T

FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

soonerpolitics.org 

FOS Notes Bout’Nuthin!

Thunder could be a 5 seed in the wild wild western conference!  NBA Coach of the Year - Billy Donovan Oklahoma Thunder!!

Royal Family Midwest Tour Continues!
Summer Tour continues for Meghan  and Harry and will be at the Bixby Barbeque and Blues Festival in early June!!  They will pick the top barbeque rub winner in the Midwest!!  The security detail will include the off duty Wagoner County Sheriff's Department and 40 tazor armed Northeast Oklahoma Eagle Scouts!!

XFL;  To Watch Or Not To Watch, That is Thy Question!?!?
~Do I risk pissing off Mrs. B in T by bringing in another FOX TV football game  to watch when doing honey do’s!!
~Do I find a fantasy league with other nerds?  How do I grade running back from Niagara State??
~Do I root for the Dallas or St. Louis team?  Cowboys or baseball Cardinals?  Quite a dilemma!!
~Should I put any XFL souvenirs in my man cave?  Let’s wait and see!

Things you may hear from stadiums that the corrupt Astros visit:
  1. Did you get the idea to steal signs from the 1997 movie ’Signs’?
  2. Is it true that you cheaters hired the drummer from Aerosmith to beat trash containers to relay the next pitch?
  3. Cheater, cheater pumpkin 🎃eaters!  Had a World Series Trophy and couldn't keep her!
  4. You are a bunch of #%^*+=_\|~<>$ who should take the drum that u signaled the next pitch and stick it up your #%^*+= and twist it sideways 10 times!!  You m#%^*+=s$£¥s, take your cheating #%^*and move to the Japan League!!  Sinara #%^*+=_\|~<>$!!!!
  5. Astros, watch the visiting team food spread!!  The chocolate pudding may not be chocolate pudding?!

FOS College Basketball Picks:

ORU 79 at Denver 76
ORU takes the Rockies baseball team plane to Denver to defeat the Skyways in Summit League basketball!!  The plane was sequestered by Hall of Fame baseball announcer George Frazier!!  The team all were comfortably riding in huge recliner seats and given free steak and lobster and a George Frazier Bobblehead doll!!  ORU coach Paul Mills will no longer have to take trips to Colorado and the Dakotas by bus or bison!!  The team simply takes commercial flights but they may sit in cramped seats next to kids who ask why you are so tall!!  These cramped up commercial flights are much better for the Golden Eagle basketball team than the 10-hour bus trips to the Dakota megatropolis!!  

 Baylor 78 Kansas 71 
The Baylor basketball team should get a standing ovation since they defeated the Jayhawks for the first time since Brad Pitt was on the sitcom Growing Pains!!  Baylor big man Freddie Gillespie swatted a number of shots from Kansas and scored 16 points with 13 rebounds!!  On one play Freddie aggressively went after a shot and ended up in the Kansas coach Self’s lap!!  After the bench coaches for Kansas adjusted Bill’s toupe, play resumed!!  The Big 12 game of the year is played in Waco with two rows of the Waco County Police Officers sitting behind both team benches!!  The Jayhawks continue to need security on the road from the KU/KState rhubarb three weeks ago!!  The security costs on the road will continue to come out of Bill Self account by auto-draft every two weeks!!  The Baylor team has the length and speed to continue in the top 4 seed area a Tournament time!!

Arkansas 83 Missouri 68
The Razorback ticket sales have skyrocketed this year thanks to Coach Muscleman's exciting style of offense and Walmart offering free foot long Chilli Cheese dogs at their deli with each hog ticket stub!!  Missouri is still wondering why Coach Frank Haith ever left to go to Tulane!!  Or was it Tulsa?  The Missouri Tigers are a year away from being decent, and two years away from making another coaching change!!  Go figure!  Arkansas went to the NBA to get coach Muscleman!! The Razorbacks have limited height but great length and Coach Muscleman knows how to use his players!

Oklahoma State 68 Oklahoma 66
The Oklahoma State team upset the Sooners with a last-second 30 footer by a dude with 3 fingers!!  Yor Anei a 6’11” young man from Nigeria battled three mammoth tigers while saving a baby giraffe and himself (with the exception of the fingers, for each mammoth tiger)!!  He is the first college basketball player to be on the cover of Pokes Illustrated and National Geographic!!  All true, just GOOGLE it!!  I promise!

Tulsa 72 SMU 67
Tulsa and SMU fans have always been competitive regarding their basketball teams and which fans are snootier and more preppy!!  This year’s pre-game fan prep off party was moved from Utica Square (both sets of fans have been banned from Utica Square for 2 years) to the Celebrity Club!!  Everything seemed copacetic until a Mustang patron in her early 70s became upset when her Ceasar Salad was not given as much grated Parmesan as a Golden Hurricane lady on the next table!!   Somehow some grated Parmesan and Ceasar Dill dressing landed in the SMU ladies hair and a Animal House food fight ensued!!  The Tulsa Police S.W.A.T. Team was summoned to break up the food fight with food sneeze guards to deflect the grated Parmesan!!  Recently retired police chief Chuck Jordan (best Tulsa Police Chief ever) is now in charge of security for the Celebrity Club and the ruckus was defused in minutes!!
Tulsa is the surprise team of the American Athletic Conference this year!!  The Golden Hurricane was projected to be 10th in the preseason media poll!!  As of game day, they were tied for first and feeling good about possible postseason play!!  The Ponies of SMU land were tied with the Tulsa this game would put the Hurricane in sole possession of first in the AAC!!  The crowd was almost 7 thousand were raucous from the beginning!!  Senior power forward Martins Inagua was dominant from the beginning and wound up with 22 points and 11 rebounds!!

Memphis 77 at Houston 72
Memphis and former Nike fundraiser Coach Penny Hardaway versus Coach Kelvin Sampson and his team of leg biters play at the home that Akim Olajawan built!!  Tetanus shots were handed out like Gatorade to Tiger players and cheerleaders!!  No shat!!  Memphis 4 star recruits outplay Houston transfers by 5!!

Oklahoma 76 Texas Tech 73
These two Big 12 teams are feeling NCAA Tournament bound with a win this day!!  Oklahoma’s big man Doolittle is not really a post player bit played like me against the Texas Tech Red Raiders!!  At 6’8” 220 pounds he pulled down 12 rebounds and scored 14 points!!  

Words of wisdom from the unwise one!!  Stroke survivors, such as myself, should not try to crack an egg with their bad hand!

Have a great sports week!!

FOS/B in T



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