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soonerpolitics.org
USC coach Lincoln Riley's 8 million dollar home is having a 1.5 million dollar home improvement project to add mirrors for his man cave!!
As you can see Muleshoe needs mirrors!
Bryan in Tulsa
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FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOG.SPOT.COM
soonerpolitics.org
Bixby Blue 1st Grade 14
Sand Springs Black 1st Grade 12
Great game with no injuries except for Mr. Cheese!!
Even if TMZ/B in T did capture a picture before the cheese ball incident the party was delightful!!
Friday night's pregame dinner was at Chuck E. Cheese 🧀 where a Bixby player, who will remain nameless, kicked Mr. Cheese in the cheese balls by accident!
Mr. Cheese, after the cheese ball incident was dancing the night away with the team and siblings!! All was good and Mr. Cheese signed autographs for the kids while holding an ice pack!!
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B in T Rants:
If the most underachieving coach in the history of mankind, Texas A&M’s Jumbo Fisher, is fired today he will be owed a 77 million dollar buyout by the Donna, Howard, Kristen and Crispen family limited but unlimited Texas A&M doner trust!! If he is released next year he will be given the college coaching Houdini Award for coming back to life to coach again at Oklahoma State in 2025??!!
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B in T College Football Picks:
Week 8 Venables Guest Get Coach:
Michael Meyers
Off-week Get Back coaches are still a must!!! His knife (with blood dripping) says ‘Get Back’!
Alabama 38 Arkansas 30
The Tide almost forgot to roll, and you cannot call the Hogs in Alabama’s Brian Dennehy stadium!! After the Tide was smoked by the rebuffed Longhorns, coach Frumpy Saban put the team on secret double probation a la ANIMAL HOUSE!
Oklahoma State 34 Kansas 31
The Three Amigos QBs for State make coach Gundy look like a mad scientist!!
Former Texas Tech QB Alan Bowman is the senior citizen at 24 and makes sure the younger Amigos are tucked in nighty night after each series! Bowman will start and throw 2 touchdowns and run for one to win a crucial game for the Cowboys! Gunnar Gundy is 20 the son of the OSU head coach Mad Scientist and is a strong dink and dunk passer!! And the third Amigo is Garret Rangel a 19-year-old Sophomore who is very heady and reminds you of a young Mike Gundy back in the day!! Finally, the main Gundy who stirs the pot is Momma Gundy who cracks the whip with her strong right arm!!
Tennessee 31 Texas A&M 30
The Aggies are seemingly looking for a new head coach before they fire the current Jumbo Fisher!! An interview with USC Lincoln Riley and the Board of Trustees was interrupted by a phone call from Dallas owner Jerry Jones who will buy out the Jumbo Fisher contract and the Lincoln Riley contract and hire both for the Dallas Cowboys!! Great move Jerry!
Kansas State 31 at Texas Tech 20
Coach Kleiman is attempting to get a 6th year of eligibility for QB Will Howard!!
Many folks say his parents use a bowl to cut his hair!! STILL!!
Cincinnati 31 Iowa State 27
My good friend Kevin H. from Des Moines, Iowa via Tulsa, OK, via Northern Iowa, and via Cedar Falls, Iowa, kept transferring to a school that would accept his football talents and his Shroom problems!! And his ego issues!! BTW Kevin H., the Clones will not let a senior citizen play college football! Hehehe!
Kevin H.?
Notre Dame 38 USC 35
Notre Dame QB Hartman passed USC QB Caleb Williams for the Heisman lead after a last-minute touchdown to TE Mitchel Evans to beat the Jenks Trojans!! Excuse me, the USC Trojans!!
Colorado 35 Stanford 17
The Colorado live Buffalo Ralphie hiked and dookied all over the Stanford Tree!! The Sanders father/son combo continued to cry about the whole world hating them while at the same time kicking every ones arse!! Wah wah wah! Hand the poor Sanders a wah-wah crying wag!! Now we know why the Colorado Buffalo Cheerleaders no longer follow Ralphie the pooping Bison 🦬 onto the football field!!
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B in T High School Picks:
Where is Pumpkin Man and his special brownies this week?
On the west side of the Arkansas River is perhaps the coolest Octoberfest festival (actually rated 5th nationally) in America!) THE TULSA OCTOBERFEST!! Believe it or not the famous Pumpkin Man HAS NEVER made an appearance there!! Well guess what German warm beer breath, he has now!! The Man of Pumpkin was seen handing out spiked chocolate Jaeger shots (ewwwwwwww) to thousands of unsuspecting Tulsa Octoberfest participants!!
*NOW* The Tulsa Octoberfest is expected to be ranked number 1 in the 2024 Octoberfest national rankings!!
Bishop Kelly 28 at Pryor 16
Bishop Kelleys DE Anthony Ibarra is one of 3 Comet defensive ends that can play on any high school in America!! Bill Knight Ford is player of the week!! Anthony Ibarra!
Bixby 63 at Broken Arrow 23
****Taylor Swift Sighting*****
Loren Montgomery's wife’s beautician is also Taylor Swift’s!
Boogie Thurmond is also a number of Hollywood stars beauticians!! Swift's swifties and numerous stars were at the Broken Arrow stadium to watch Taylor and Loren’s beautician!!
Celebs in BA, Oklahoma
When a 6A team gets within 40 points of the Spartans a Saturday morning parade will ensue!! Tough year for BA, but they will be back and badder!!
Hennessey 45 Blackwell 12
The Hens from Hennessey demolished Blackwell, as numerous deer hunters headed for their stands early to get that perfect shot!!
BTW 52 Grant 0
The Booker T Hornets drill team and dance squad coupled with the powerful Hornet football team makes for a great duo of team spirit at the high school level!!
Carl Albert 49 Bishop McGinnis 22
The most stacked high school team NOT NAMED IMG FROM BOCA ROTAN, FLORIDA dominates the best Catholic team in the state of Oklahoma!!
IMG
Football Robots from Florida!
Verdigris 26 at Cascia Hall 23
A Cardinal is not likely to defeat a Commando from Tulsa but go with it!! Commandos are sleek military Seal Team armadas that can go to Mars to protect US soil!! And surely stop a Cardinal, but not the case here!!
Choctaw 49 Northwest Classen Knights 6
Choctaw’s freshman team is a 6-point favorite over the Knights JV!!
Will Rogers 37 Hale 6
The Ropers have a number of senior players who could not make the Saturday morning game due to ACT testing!! How times have changed since the 70s!! So how are ACT scores categorized? This is a topic that will never, ever be covered again in a B in T blog!! Here goes!! As of August of 2023, a 28 ACT score means you've scored better than 89% of students, and a 30 means you've scored better than 93% of them! Anything 34 or above score is in the 99th percentile—a truly phenomenal individual!! Rogers still dominated Hale without their senior class playing this Saturday!! Cheers!
Will Rogers College High School OF ROCK!!
Holland Hall 36 Central 20
Since the Dutch started playing Oklahoma (OSSAA) schools 4 years ago the Holland Hall football team has learned several new football terms such as: ‘ kiss off dude’, ‘you are an em-effer’, and ‘Have you met the Pumpkin Man,’?
Holland Hall’s old private school league in Texas offers sideline misters and heated seats for the players!! Each Houston player has their own doctor and training staff, and of course, each visitor locker room has its own team colors!
Welcome to Real Oklahoma
H.S. football !!
O S S A A!!
Jenks 44 Moore 14
Jenks RB Kaydin Owens has more gears than a Formula 1 racer!! His dad is Kejuan Jones of Jenks and OU Sooner greatness!! He did pass his talents and gears to his son, the current Jones sophomore running back and safety!! Against Moore, Kaydin had 13 rushes for 172 yards and two touchdowns!! Several college scouts have the young Jones as a 3-star with offers starting to bubble up for the 10th grader!!
Dad Jones is in the
house 20 years ago!!
Kiefer 48 at Kansas 34
Kiefer Freshman Titus Bell who just turned 14 has just recently was not allowed to watch the premier of The Exorcist - Believer- for Halloween 👻! The team decided instead to attend a Thursday night pregame Casper (1995 original) at the Dollar Seventy-Five Theatre! Good safe clean movie but some of the younger players did cover their eyes when cuddly, lovable Casper appeared!!
Owasso 66 Yukon 12
The ‘D’ at Owasso is led by Coach Antonio Graham who once took a nose guard twice his size and bench-pressed him 30 times to prove a point!! Not sure what the point was but it was proven by Coach G!!
What in the heck is a Miller?
The creation of the Miller Man
in 1930 by the Yukon Public Schools honored the local industry and changed the school mascot from the Yukon Panthers to the Yukon Millers!! Many visiting teams thought that the Millers were the small moths commonly found in sacks of flour!! They still do!! The Millers of the flour mills were often confused with miller bugs and Miller Light beer!!
The Graham-led Ram defense showed no mercy!!
Tonkawa 34 at Morrison 22
Tonkawa’s sophomore studs are starting to take charge as key players for the future!! Mrs. B in Ts Cousin Kelly and her better half Charlie, are constantly feeding the sophomore boys pecan pie, steak, bacon, sausage, and other select items to beef up the younger Buccaneers!!
B in T Pro Picks:
Chiefs 140 Broncos 0
Go figure 140?? Ok….here is how ya figure it, simple shat:
*The Broncs lost to the Dolphins by scoring 70 points! The Chiefs are twice as good as the Dolphins according to my friends in Chief Nation thus 70 X 2 = 140!!
*The remaining Bronc offensive players quit while Russell Wilson is still QBing the O in Denver—— thus giving you 0 points!!
B in T Tulsa University GPA 2.33; Quantitative Analysis Grade 4.25- True Shat!! JK!
Texans 35 Saints 27
C J Stroud throws for 3 touchdowns and runs for 1 TD, while Saints QB Jameis Winston, who still insists he did not steal crab legs from a Publix grocer in college, threw for 2 TDs and 2 interceptions!!
Buccaneers 33 Lions 31
QB Baker Mayfield and wide-out Mike Evans have become best buds on and off the field!! The duo hooked up for 2 TDs in the 4th quarter to overtake the Lions!! Baker and Mike double-dated that night at Western Sizzlin, in Detroit!!
Chargers 31 Cowboys 21
The Cowboys' Defensive coordinator was fired by the head Coach, the HC was fired by the GM, the GM was fired by the owner Jerry Jones and Jerry then fired himself!! Dilly Dilly bitches!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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