Bryan in Tulsa
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Bobblehead Sports:
The Amarillo Zoo captured a strange image outside the zoo in the dark and early morning hours of May 21 (around 1:25 a.m.)!! Is it a person with a strange funnel-like head who looks a little like Huffy Hurricane a former University of Tulsa mascot!!
Do you have any ideas of what this Amarillo Zoo picture could be? Is it Huffy Hurricane!?? Is it a Chubbacobra?? Is it Mothman? Pumpkin 🎃 Man? Please call Amarillo Park and Zoo security if you have seen an alien or mascot similar to the picture above!!
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B in T notes:
Top 10 most hated things by Tulsa University fans or B in T:
- SMU fans - I am not a fan of the little SMU preschool children wearing Pony sweater vests who flip you off when you wear Blue and Gold!!
- When the TU fans are outnumbered by the visitor fans at Chapman or Reynolds Center - thank you Wichita State fans, ORU fans, OU fans, and OSU fans!
- Razorback plastic hog hats - The Story goes: I was 11 years old when my mom took me to my first TU-Arkansas football game! Two large gents with matching plastic hog hats sat behind us and yelled TU obscenities and drank about a keg of 🍯 beer! After one of these gents tossed their groceries in their hog hats and on my back, I started hating hog hats!!
- All Refs - the Referees always hate Tulsa because we do not give them free food or drinks, and more bad calls for Tulsa and guess what, we hate all refs! Cheaters! TU fans, in my experience, never get calls!! Never, ever in a billion years!!
- Two New Tulsa Chapman Stadium Rules: 258455.1 rule: no one can bring a keg into the stadium, also: 265776.1 rule: no one may bring bongs or brownies in the stadium (this one sucks)! I hear they have brownie sniffing dogs!!
- Bowl Games with fewer than 5000 fans- TU fans understand
- Stale popcorn - the same mother chicken popcorn, has been served at TU sporting events for 50 years!!
- Friday Night ESPN football- goes against local high school games and in Oklahoma the TV viewership would be more for the local Tulsa high school game of the week!! True shat!!
- Rice football - never compare your university to TU, in football, for God sake!!
- Yellow Spandex TU spirit pants - do not try to get a mental picture of this, please don't try! I have spotted these atrocities at Chapman Stadium!!
Adam Wainwright and Yadi Molina will be featured in a new commercial campaign for Budweiser, one celebrating their shared careers, their shared comebacks, and shared triumphs under the banner!! The Cardinals duo, who is approaching the all-time record for starts as a battery, will also be featured on special cans as "legendary teammates.!! Go Redbirds!!
B in T Top 10 hottest men’s college campuses:
- Tulsa University-very good-looking older men throughout the campus, also known as creepers!!
- The University of Oklahoma- best farmer tans in America!
- The University of Colorado - study, ski, and tan is all the Colorado men do!!
- Oklahoma State -voted second best farmer tans in America!
- The University of Nevada - you will find numerous gigolos at Nevada U!
- Arkansas University - Razorback men are often mistaken for rugged Timberlane mountain men!!
- The University of Arizona - student body Az men wear speedos to class!
- Oral Roberts University - Godly men are sexy!
- Kansas University - the ‘50 Shades of Grey’ male character in the movie is from Lawrence!!
- The University of Utah - the men are prettier than the women at Utah!! Little known fact!
B in T tidbits:
- Former 1990s Jenks QB son has transferred from Hollywood where father Brian makes movies! True freshman and Trojan QB Jackson Presley has moved to Jenks and already has offers from Texas A&M, Arizona, and Oregon, among others!! He has the entire Jenks freshmen cheer squad on his Apple phone!!
- Two years in a row ORU Super guard Max Ambas has left the NBA hanging and returned to Oral Roberts!! In a world where players transfer for reasons like jersey colors and crazy girlfriends Max is back for another season of fun and winning at Oral Roberts!!
- Three or four years ago we lost to SMU in Smallas, Texas, in which in said game we missed a 25 and 27-yard field goal AND an extra point!!! This poor kicker was given a wrath of shat from my 60-year-old + brothers who had made a short rode trip to bond!! Three years later he is rated the 3rd best kicker in college football! We saw Mr. Zach Long and his family at breakfast the next day and after some kicking tips from the TU old farts he became an All-American!! True story!!
- Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers defeated Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen in Match Play Golf at Southern Hills last week!! The match was for charity and became controversial when the young guns Mahomes and Allen became angry when a dead skunk was found in the golf bag of Mahomes!! This caused Allen to miss a 4-foot putt and gave the match to veterans Brady and Rodgers!!
MLB
Cardinals- 43-34 - Looks like an old battle of the 🍯 Beer Gods, between as The Old Milwaukees of Brewerland VS the legends of Cardinal Red and Budweiser!! Both beer companies will be snorting the suds until the first week of October where we will have forgotten about baseball and are dreaming about first downs and tailgating margaritas!!
Dodgers 46-28 I only write about the Dodgers cause my brother loves them!! At time he lives in St.Louis and loves the Dodgers!! He loves baby cardinals but hates Cardinal Baseball, our father once bought us Cardinal underwear and diapers and he STILL loves the Corn Dodgers!!
Rangers- 36-37
The Rangers are only 4 games behind Tampa Bay for the last AL wild card slot!! Playoff tickets will be printed next week for those over-exuberant Ranger fans!!
Astros - 47-27 - The Astros could play the remainder of their games with their AAA league team, Sugar Land (not to be confused with Candy Land) Space Cowboys (not to be confused with Space Cadet), and finish in first place!!! No shat!! A fricken 19-game lead over the second-place team!! TO MY KIN FOLK IN HOUSTON, whom we love ❤️ so dearly and may or may not read this crap, the season is over and you may watch summer reruns instead!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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