Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Family Bobbleheads:
Two-Year-Old Birthday Parties = A Good Time for Papi to Nap!
Two weeks ago my gorgeous wife, AKA Mrs. B in T, decided to host Charlotte's 2nd Birthday party! So, if you want to get shat done in the home just have a two-year-old party at your home! Such items as a new corner piece in the living room, a beautiful new piece of art from London, two new throw rugs, and Papa and his dog Henry both received pedicures and hair trims before the party!!
While Charlotte’s birthday party was exciting and very busy, I became dizzy and went straight to nighty-night time!! As I slept I dreamed of a quiet place with Katy Perry dancing to California Girls!! When I awoke I realized that the 8 adults and 13 children had left!! Dang!! Oh well, let's have another football party 🍕 so we can purchase a 65” Vizio in the B in T MAN CAVE!!!
B in T notes:
Vikings Use Skelly Stadium Tartan Turf to Practice!?
The actual photo was taken by an extremely young Bill Haistens!
In 1973 and ‘74 the Minnesota Vikings used Tulsa’s Skelly Stadium to practice before their playoff games against the Dallas Cowboys!! Viking QB Fran ‘the scram’ Tarkenton was seen at the ‘The Buccaneer’ belting down some a couple of QT Light beers after practice with legendary coach Bud Grant!! Tulsa World reporter Bill Haisten, who happened to be at the Buc bar, asked Fran if he minded playing on artificial turf, “ no ” snapped Tarkenton. “We'd be ready even if the game was played on asphalt. To me their artificial turf (at Texas Stadium)is like the energy crisis. It's here. It's with us. It's something we'll have to contend with.”
Which of these dudes was asked for “More Cowbell!” and which one asks for “more basketballs to the post, damn it!”
B in T Local Post Season Basketball Projections:
Oklahoma State - none - the Cowboys were banished from postseason play in 2022 due to infractions levied in World War II.
NCAA is a joke!
Oklahoma - NIT 3rd seed against South Dakota played at Vermillion, S Dakota!! OU fans are booking flights now!!
Arkansas - NCAA 10 seed - in Chatanooga! vs West Virginia
Tulsa - a couch with Lays chips
ORU - the Golden Eagles win the postseason Tourney, NCAA 14th seed! Playing in Sheboygan, Wisconsin! Vs Illinois
Illinois - NCAA 3rd seed in St. Louis vs ORU
Murray State - NCAA 6th seed in Juneau, Alaska vs Alabama
2 Star Recruits? WTH!
Tyler Smith, Next First Rounder for Tulsa?
At 6’4”, 325 lbs Mr. Smith is the perfect right tackle size for the NFL! Tyler has great pop in his hands when he demolishes the defender, especially in the run game as he explodes into the chest of the next pancake victim!! His draft stock should rise to the first round when the validity of a picture of Mr. Smith lifting a 1970 VW bus over his head is confirmed! True shat man!!
Up and Comer from Oral Roberts University:
Moses Ehambe
Moses was a 2008 graduate of ORU, scoring 13 PPG and 7 RPG as a player! After a few years in the NBA D League, he worked at ORU as an assistant, then with Indiana Pacers, and now Moses Ehambe, has joined the Minnesota Timberwolves as the director of player programs! He recently was interviewed by Dan Hawk on the 1170 Sports Blitz and has amazing insight to the NBA and a future NBA team president!! Great young man!!
Why Gabriel Brownlow-Dindy flip his commitment to Texas A&M from Oklahoma?
A. Perhaps he was upset after all of the staff changes on the defensive side of the OU ball?
B. New Cadilac Escalade in his driveway!
C. Mom and Dad Brown-nose-Dindy received furnished home in College Station!
D. NIL deal worth 4.7 million with College Station car dealership called Giggem Lexus!
E. Who gives a shat
F. All the above
Answer: E
Brownlow-Dindy was hailed as a program-changing recruit defensively for the Sooners! Oh well!!
B in T Top 10 Worst Fans:
- LSU - Vulgar mouths and do not wear deodorant game week!
- Alabama - watched them 2 times at College Station and my wife tried to wash their mouths out with soap!! A whole section!
- Florida State - when the firey spear is implanted in the turf the entire crowd goes berserk and attacks the visiting crowd!
- Note Dame - Their fans are arrogant and think they are holier than thou!! If visiting Notre Dame make sure you play your pep band music real loud while the ND alums try to sing their anthem after losing 28-27!!
- Texas A&M - several of the up and coming DINC (dual income no children) Aggie fans are just naturally arrogant and know it!! Our A&M family are perfectly sweet as pumpkin pie to us!!
- Arkansas - in ‘71 while at my first TU - Arkansas game in Fayetnam, Arkansas I ran across some familiar rude and ballistic fans especially when TU rallied for a 21-20 victory!!
7. SMU - A couple of years ago
a group of 60 + year old farts
traveled to Preppie land in
Dallas to watch heartbreakin
loss to the Ponies!! On the
long walk to our car after the
game a young fart gave us
the bird and jacked my brother Coop’s walking cane!! They may look friendly, preppy but they are awful fans!! Trust me!
- The Ohio State University -
They yell way too loud and
drink way much!!
And win way too much
- Tennessee - the fans litter their own field and are mean to Lane Kiffin!
- Tulsa - the post-game melee
after the 2020 Armed Forces
Bowl, some new sources tell
B in T that some 60+year old
TU farts instigated the brawl
by throwing hot dogs at the
Mississippi State players!!
Let the fights begin!!
OU 2022 Freshman is Already a Winner!
The University of Oklahoma’s freshman quarterback, Nick Evers, is using his platform for good. Evers has opted to donate all proceeds from his first name, image and likeness (NIL) deal to Make-A-Wish!! This four-star QB has given this old fart a glimmer of hope in today's glut of me, me, me NIL deals and transfer deception in college football!
College Basketball Picks:
Arkansas 77 Tennessee 71
The Razorbacks took the Vols and coach Rick Barnes to the local woodshed and switched their butts as my Grandmother used to switch my red ass!!
Tulsa 68 at South Florida 61
The only conference wins this year were to the Bulls! Well this is bull shat! Is it football season yet?
Iowa State 78 Oklahoma 73
The Sooner are slated for the first round of the CBI Tournament against Chicago Loyola Marymount!!
Oklahoma State 81 Kansas State 68 Oklahoma State powerful duo the Boone brother scored 35 points and had 20 rebounds against the Mildcats!
ORU 83 at North Dakota 71
ORU will win the conference tournament and give all the credit to the Prayer Tower!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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