⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
Because of the rain and the 2,568 roadwork projects in Tulsa, the paper delivery people are running late with your edition of the amazing
(FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOG.SPOT.COM), so forgive them and please send their tips in the envelopes attached with their names on the front!!
Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Bobblehead Family:
Ok, the last 3 Bobblehead Family articles (braggings) were about pregnancies, graduations, and promotions! My son Lance has also been promoted to Horticulture Manager at Southern Hills!! He loves his job and the people he works with!! Lance and Andre (son-in-law) have both worked at SH for over 5 years and have a love-hate relationship!! Lance makes fun of his Brazilian accent and Andre makes fun of Lancer’s country accent!! Lance makes fun of Andre’s pink golf pants and Andre jokes with Lance about his butt crack!! Seriously I am SO PROUD of Lance, the son, the father, and the husband he is!
IMG_0657.HEIC
He was given the PGA Championship Trophy for his promotion!! Seriously great job Lancer!! Son, I do see some weeds in the picture above and the tree on the left is dying!
B in T Rants:
B in T Ugliest Top 5 Mascots:
1.Texas- Bevo - a big ugly bull with giant poop bag flying everywhere! Definite number 1, by far!!
2.TCU- Superfrog - looks like a horny toad on acid!
3.Purdue - Purdue Pete- might be the creepiest mascot since Burger King’s TV giant paper mache head!
4. California- Oski the Bear- a very rude Bear that flips off opposing fans!!
5.Utah- a large Hawk in shoulder pads gives children who attend the game nightmares!!
B in T Cutest Top 5 mascots:
1.Nebraska- Little Red- I have spent hours on YouTube TV, watching and laughing at Little Red, and at the same time trying to find where his head and butt were!! Yes B in T has no life, but lots of fun!!
Resembles a young Scott Frost
2. South Carolina - Cocky- love it when the entire student section stands up saying ‘Get cocky’ !!
My waistline and Cocky’s are similar!
3.Syracuse - If the Sunkist Orange and the giant Kool-Aid dude had a baby it would be Otto!!
4. Oklahoma - Boomer and Sooner are cute and cuddly but will get in Pistol Pete’s paper mache face!
5. Tulsa-Kodak-Australian Shepard Dog- named because he is as cute as a Kodak picture 📸! Note his blue and gold TU collar!! Thank you Mrs. B in T!!
Kodak will replace the old Captain Cane who was put out to pasture!
Coolest OKC fan ever:
Bill Hader, SNL and Tulsa Cascia Hall fame!
OU Softball, to opposing Big 12 coaches: Don't poke the sleeping cocaine bear!! Or keep your Yappers shut when u play the Sooner Ladies!!
Which is hardest for you to say?
1.I love you!
2.Pass me the remote.
3.I was wrong, I'm sorry.
4.I tracked in dog poo babe!
5.I need professional help.
6.I need brownies sweetie.
7.I appreciate you!
8.Where is my phone?
9.You look amazing!
10.Where is the plunger babe?
Recommendations:
Odds - pick these when you are in the shit house and/or close to being in the shatter!
Evens - pick these when you want to go to the shit house for a week or so!
Shit house in heaven!
I think I have a blue checkmark on my Twitter account! Does this mean I am important or did the grandkids spill blue paint on my i6 phone again?!?!
Center Vibes:
Final Results for the highly ranked Tulsa Center Boccia team:
Center Team Twister came, saw, and kicked some Boccia booty! The following folks made the USA Midwest Regional finals: Pam, made the lady's USA BC Open finals, Keith and Bryan aka Foghorn Leghorn (despite numerous flatulent penalties) made the Finals for the BC Men’s Open!! Lee ‘the Pirate’ made the finals and brought home Bronze!! This was a very competitive Boccia tournament and the Center Boccia team was bringing 12 future Paralympic athletes to the Midwest Regionals!! A new member of our team, Harris a gunshot survivor, made super shots and has a great attitude!! Our ramp paraplegic and quadriplegic players had competition with the best USA players in the nation and were extremely competitive!!
More Notes from the tournament:
*I only ran over 3 toes with my wheelchair!
*no fights or ejections
*the trip in the Center bus was uneventful until a foul odor came from Tempest’s bag of food that was left in a bag all weekend...ewwww!!
*my roommate seemed to miss his wife but noticed that both his wife and mine never answered their phone while both of our tracking devices found our wives at Shot Happens, a local pub close to B in T’s house!! Very Interesting!
MLB
Cardinals:
The 1980 Keith Hernandez smoking a puff a luff in the training room after each Redbird victory!!
Cubs
The Cubs are currently 4 games ahead of my birds for 3rd place in the ugly NL Central, with the Pirates and their pitching staff leading the way!!
Royals
This is a really bad year for the Royals to sell, although a number of AAA minor-league owners are considering the Royals for future expansion!!
Rangers
Aldonis Garcia aka Babe Ruth is leading the red-hot Texas Rangers and the AL, in all of the major powering hitting
categories!! The Rangers are strong, even in the Texas summers!
Brewers
The Brewers are the early favorite to win the NL Central with the Pirate's young pitching staff leading the way!! The Yelitch factor for the Brewers is there by name as he is struggling somewhat but still has 4 dingers and 13 RBIs to go with a .238 BA!
Astros
Kyle Tucker is batting .300 but the remaining Astro hitters are hovering around .235 with Yodanis Alvarez still hitting for power! Still 3 games over .500 with the pitching very strong!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
|
|
|
B, in T |
No comments:
Post a Comment