Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
New to B in T:
The Center Scoop:
Coffee Maker- when B in T started at the Center for Physically Limited Individuals 8 years ago we had two fricking coffee pots! As of the last 4 years, we have zero!! So where are our pots and why has our beautiful, wise beyond-her-youthful appearance, and smart Director hidden the pots? Four years ago the pots were removed after massive messes were made by members of the Center other than me!! Rumor has it that our awesome Director has locked our coffee pots up and buried them under the new building construction!! I have suggested a new cappuccino machine, a margarita machine, an organic juice machine, and even my 2002 Mr. Coffee in our attic!! The requests were all denied!! Mrs. Director, please return our pot!?!?!?
OR for $2.79 hehe
*New Automatic cappuccino machine- $2,479.99 on Amazon!!
B in T Rants about nutin’
I have done some research on the phenomenon of national weathermen and bodybuilders. Yes the snow and ice in Tulsa has given me cabin fever!! This art of Weather person body building was started years ago when National Weatherman and cute teddy bear, Al Roker lost a lot of weight for health reasons!! After that day, weather watchers started to look at weather folks as muscle beach Gods! This is the main reason all weather folks are power weight-lifting bodybuilders and yoked up!
KC QB Mahomes Superbowl MVP has just been arrested for impersonating Kermit the Frog!
The refs get special treatment at Phog Allen......
I saw a Kansas assistant basketball coach slip a ref a 50 dolla bill yo! And a bag of white powder!
Just sayin’ bro............
Great quote from the REF radio and ex-OU superstar Teddy Lehman:
“Ya know, I kinda respect Saban for trying to get a spy balloon in place to steal OU coach Lebby’s offensive secrets. Too bad, 0-2! Well I guess 1-3. He did film our practices in the Super Dome in 03!! Lots of secrets between China and coach Saban!!
You know Morning coffee and brownies are reeeeaaaally good when.....you call your wife at work and let her know that u accidentally flushed a Cutip down the toilet, should I call a plumber? This is a true story and names were omitted to protect those who may over-medicate!!
Which is the best day of your life as an OU fan?!
- Birth of a child- named Boomer !
- 4th marriage- to an OU cheerleader!
- Release of the ‘1st Gift to the Gods’ or AKA the release of the 2023 OU football schedule!! OMG!
- OU's 1st National Championship in football 3 decades !
- January 2023 announcement by smokin’ Joe Castiglione that Oklahoma will have men's and women's Pickleball teams!!
Answer : 3 and 5
Fax Machines are never used unless it's SIGNING DAY for college recruits! Currently, home loan documents and anything else needing a signature uses E-docs and sign electronically! This was started years ago before I retired, right after the invention of quill pens ✒️! Come on coaches just have the kids e-sign and nix or fux this fax crap!!
Which college basketball coaches will chat and acknowledge you and which will tell you to eff off?
B in T Coach nicey to baddy bad Rankings:
1 Angel coach
5 Mike Boynton - OSU, once walked an elderly ref across a highway!
6 Bill Self - Kansas, loves to chat; once talked to a statue for 3 minutes! Google it!
12 Porter Mosier - OU, takes in wayward cats!
97 Jim Boeheim - Syracuse, looks like a crotchety old Philosophy Professor!
99 John Calimari - Kentucky, refuses to sign autographs and walk anyone across the street! Once told a two-year-old not two drool on his Brooks Brother’s suit or he would make her run laps!!
100 Devil
I am ready for some low-fat, gluten-free ice cream at a Cardinal or Driller game!!
Last week St Louis announcer Dan Mc Glaughlin was replaced by Harry Carry’s grandson Chip Carry!! A quarter of a century of broadcasting by McLaughlin ended abruptly after his third DUI. Skip’s grandpapa Harry simply drank four or five Buds and cabbied or walked to his restaurant after a game!! No car 🚌 take a cab!! Or an Uber in today's world!!
BTW (’by the way ‘ for you non hipsters) I have never taken on Uber!! Why sir? Fear of being Ubered by a serial killer, a terrorist, or a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend!! Just shoot me.
B in T College Basketball picks:
Kentucky 81 Tennessee 76
Kentucky has been out if the top AP 25 for weeks!! Kentucky seniors have stated that they will not shower until a return by the once mighty Wildcats to the AP top 25!! Beating the Top 5 ranked Volunteers helps!
Texas 72 Oklahoma 65
The Wed Wiver Wivalry was wild when the woeful team southwest of the wiver won!!
TCU 88 Oklahoma State 84
TCU looks to get a 4 seed and a win over the Cowboys will help solidify that wish!
Arkansas 84 Florida 68
The Razorbacks have become average over the last few weeks. The remedy for the bad play was simply scheduling the Gators! Florida has reached double figures in losses again!
Kansas 88 Baylor 82
Kansas is peaking at the right time and handled the Bear's big men in a barn burner at Phog!
Iowa State 74 at Kansas State 72 OT
The official time clocks went out with Kansas State trailing by 11 with 2:33 left. When the clock was fixed by a local hometown Manhattan, Kansas clocksmith it read 2:32 but KSU only trailed by 3!! None of the 18 Clone coaches noticed the clock and score errors!! Looks likes a time warp created by the giant white balloon caused the phenomenon in Manhattan!!
ORU 91 N Dakota St. 65
The Golden Eagles have 14 wins in a row!! Currently, I have my ORU sweet 16 t-shirt on from 2021!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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