Bryan in Tulsa
đđđđđđđđđđđđđ
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
Bobblehead Sports:
Granddaughter attends first TU game!!
My almost 2-year-old granddaughter attended her first TU game last week!! Houston throttled my Hurricane 45 to 10 while Charlotte dozed through the majority of the game!! Upon waking up she encountered the giant funnel-headed Hurricane man which scared the shat out of her!! Not a good TU football experience for my granddaughter!! They lost to Houston 45 to 10!! Oh well, her mom, dad, and Papa still love the Hurricane football team but are not real fond of the giant blue hurricane dude in tights!! Hehehe!!
PUMPKIN MAN SPOTTED AT UTICA SQUARE!!!
The older cultured hobnobs of midtown Tulsa were frightened by this mysterious Pumpkin Man that showed up at Utica with a goodies sack!! As the high school kids cleared out local schools to the Utica Square Starbucks hang out they cheered the arrival of the Man of Pumpkin and his gigantic bag of edible gummies đ worms!! The Cascia Hall high school parents were astonished at the concentration their kids showed while doing their homework and eating Doritos!! Thanks, Pumpkin Man and have a great Halloween!!
B in T Notes:
đđđđđđđđđđđđđ
B in T Top 10 New Age Horror Flicks!!
1.đģđģđģđģ
Annabelle Comes Home - 2019 - This Annabelle doll flick is the creepiest in decades of creepiness!!
2.đģđģđģđģ
Us - 2020 - Very scary with some current-day overtones!
3.đģđģđģđģ
Halloween H2O - 20 Years Later - 2013 - Never be alone at college during Christmas break with Jamie Lee Curtis!
4.đģđģđģđģ
A Quiet Place - 2018 The silence of this movie is also the horror of this movie!!
5.đģđģđģđģ
It - 2017 Remake with real clown teeth!!
6.đģđģđģđģ
Conjuring 2 - 2016 The art of filming a movie with a possession theme was perfected with this horror flick!!
7.đģđģđģđģ
The Visit - 2017 The movie is not about aliens but about two kids that meet their grandmother for the first time!! The trick was that Grandma has been dead for 5 years!
8.đģđģđģđģ
Your Next - 2015 Dudes breaking into your home with white pig masks and guns can be very scary!!
9.đģđģđģđģ
The Cabin in the Woods - 2013 Classic horror setting with a corporate twist!
10.đģđģđģđģ
The Descent - 2003 - Young girls go cave hiking and find cave dwellers that are hungry for them!! LITERALLY!!
10a.đģđģđģđģ
TU vs Houston Football - 2021 - Tulsa fans cried with horror!!
Urban Meyer (former Ohio State and current Jacksonville Jaguars coach) Reason Canned Odds:
Leaves for creeping on co-ed girls one third his age - 3 to 1
Leaves for health and psychiatric disorders - 6 to 1
Leaves for having no clue how to coach at the professional level - 1.25 to 1
Leaves for taking tequila shots off of a Jaguar Cheerleader’s belly button- 75 to 1
Leaves for getting caught sending his resume to USC and Ohio State- 10 to 1
Funny shat:
Almost 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. NOW we have no cash,no hope,and no jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die!
B in T College Football Picks:
Oklahoma 38 TCU 21
The Oklahoma Sooner fans have been known to boo Spencer Rattler when he walks a little old lady across Lindsey Street in Norman!! True shat!! QB Rattler completed 25 of 27 passes for 2 touchdowns to a chorus of ‘we want the freshman dude NOW’!! Rattler is later replaced by freshman Caleb Williams who completes 24 of 25 pass attempts for 3 touchdowns!! Caleb is the new fan favorite!!
Texas 34 Oklahoma State 28
State QB Spencer Sanders has recently changed his first name to Colonel (Sanders) as part of his NIL (name, image, and licensing) statewide contract with Kentucky Fried Chickenđ!! Not only can Pistol Pete no longer give the upside-down hook em horns sign, but Pistol Pete can no longer shoot his musket in the Longhorn Stadium!! Why do we ask? The noise gives Bevo an upset stomach!!
Arkansas 28 Auburn 21
Friday night Tiger fans were chanting ‘Piggies Suck’ and were soon surrounded by many Razorbacks fans named Bubba at the Mellow Mushroom Restuarant!! At this point Mellow’s Restaurant was silent!! Some smart Tiger fans bought 10 large Bacon Razorback Pizzas for the hometown rowdies!! Everyone was happy and hugs were exchanged between the Razorbacks and the Tigers!!
Tulsa 28 at South Florida 27
A few of the Hurricane fans decided to visit Busch Gardens and its free beer sampling tour! A few members of the TU tour group became irate when they were cut off from sampling after two small cups of 12% Budweiser!! Finally, according to Vegas, Tulsa has a .014% chance of going to a bowl game!!
Baylor 38 BYU 31
The Christians defeat the Mormons when a late Hail Mary pass from BYU QB Baylor Romney falls into the depths of hell, incomplete!!
Texas A&M 63 at Missouri 34
Missouri defense is just what the doctor ordered for the Aggie offense!!
Georgia 31 Kentucky 30
Am I the last person in the universe to realize that Georgia coach Kirby Smart has a carpet on top??
Kansas State 5 Iowa State 3
This was possibly the slobberknockerest, slobber knocking game in the history of slobber knocking games!! (try saying that after a morning Jami brownie!) Gasparilla Magnum Condoms Bowl scouts were in attendance and left early shaking their heads!! True story!!
Boston College 31 North Carolina State 28
The BC offensive line is one of the smaller-sized lines in college football!! But boy can they lay a lickin that keeps on tickin, slap the rubber to the road, and even smash mouth the opponent until they are dazed and wounded!! In fact dating back to the early 50s Boston College were known for their smaller linemen!! The 1950 O - line was a tad bigger than the BC Cheerleader squad!
These dudes ate nails for dinner, served for our country, and were all-American football players!! Thanks for your service and now kick the Wolfpacks ass!
B in T High School Picks:
Jenks 42 at Edmond Sante Fe 20
Jenks freshman QB Shaker Reisig's parents moved to Jenks, Oklahoma from California to get more dedicated football instruction!! Shaker’s teammates called him Sunshine one time and one time only!! He threatened to transfer to Bixby if his teammates called him Sunshine one more time!! The nickname ceased immediately!
Bixby 72 Sand Springs 13
The Bixby freshman team and the 8th-grade team played the entire second half! Bixby 7th grade moms were extremely upset that their little Spartans did not get to play with the varsity!!
Bishop Kelley 48 at Will Rogers 6
The Will Rogers College Ropers have improved this year but the Comets needed to take out the frustrations of a slow start on them!!
Mom O Meter - Will Rogers moms .982 BK moms .966
Possibly the two best sets of moms in the history of great football moms!! Again this competition came down to the final event - Chunking pumpkins!! The Comet moms made a 10-foot wide slingshot made out of the same elastic materials that make Victoria's Secret bras!! This contraption was perfect to toss a medium-sized pumpkin đ! But the winning toss came from the Roper moms using 40-foot tall catapult that threw the winning pumpkin 312 feet!!
B in T Diner of the week: Talleys - 11th and Yale, Tulsa Former Will Roger and TU QB David Rader has his personal booth and food on the menu named after him!! Davids Dynamo Red Jalapeno Omelet is tops for spicy food lovers in Tulsa!!
Owasso 56 Southmore 16
The Rams of Owasso who are named after the only Ram seen in Oklahoma back in the 1870s!! Several Owassonites and Senators have requested to change the name to the Owasso Bigfoots since there are more sightings of Bigfoot than Rams in Northeastern Oklahoma!! True stuff!! The Owasso defensive coordinator has had many head coaching offers from small-town schools such as Prague, Blackwell, and Beaver đĻĢOklahoma as well as Tontitown, Arkansas!! He is holding out for the TU DC gig!!
Union 45 at Moore 14
Union coach Kirk Friedrich gets little respect but has taken Union Football Team to a number 2 spot in the 6AI Rankings!! How can the OKC area high school football suck so much with THE Oklahoma Sooners next door??
Blackwell 16 at Newkirk 12
Both teams have one win total combined!! Blackwell has been the homecoming opponent for all 5 of their road games!!
Tonkawa 38 at Oklahoma Christian Academy 21
The Tonkawa moms were extremely excited for their trip into Edmond to Christmas shop at the Pro Bass Shop!! Several moms and Buccaneer fans were reportedly seen at the Bass Shop pub having Jaeger shots before the game!! A few were seen with special brownies and gummie centipedes!!
Cushing 48 at OC Marshall 6
This game will be played at the historic Taft Stadium which until 2015 was the largest high school stadium in Oklahoma!! In 2015 the stadium was renovated and seating capacity was reduced to 7500!! The red brick facade was all that was left of the old Taft!! The Cushing football team could give a rats ass about the Taft stadium history and went there to dominate OC Marshall!!
B in T Pro Picks :
Chiefs 38 at Washington 28
Super quick Tyreek Hill returned a punt for 6 points, caught 7 passes for 14 points (2 touchdowns and a 2 point conversation), and rushed twice for 6 points!! The team known as Washington’s defense has not met the expectations expected by last year's success!!
Browns 28 Cardinals 27
Two former Heisman Trophy-winning QBs from the Oklahoma Sooners battled in a super primetime game!!
Cowboys 35 at Patriots 27
QB Dak has several weapons on offense and seems to be distributing the ball equally among his stud wideouts and tight ends!!
Bears 27 Packers 23
Rookie QB Justin Fields has got the Bears fans drinking more, bars are busier, Bear Jersey sales have skyrocketed, and finally Bear fans are attending church more frequently!!
Steelers 24 Seahawks 21
Steeler QB Rothlensburger rolled outside of the pocket for the first time all year!! His wheels are not what they were!! He retired two days later! JK.
Have a great sports week!!
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
|
|
|
B, in T |
No comments:
Post a Comment