Faked Out Sports / Bryan in Tulsa
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Special Thanksgiving Day edition of FOS!!
The First-Ever Pandemic Drive-through Lights On at Utica Square Over/Under
- Over/under - number of Christmas to Remember Lexus’s with giant bows in drive thru- 35 Take the under!! Coronavirus shat and Giant red bow shortages!
- Over/under - number of Christmas Peppermint super 4 squirt expresso Lattes sold through the Utica Square Starbucks temporary drive-through - 740 - take the under due to no Peppermint Schnapps ALLOWED!!
- Over/under - number of SUVs with Xmas Wreaths on their grills - 250 - take the over! Dr. Faucci states that you cannot get Coronavirus by putting a Xmas wreath on your SUV's grill!!
- Over/under - number of Utica Square haunting, life-size Nutcrackers stolen in the back of white 1980 cargo vans - all of them- take the under - the blue nutcracker was ran over by a Holland Hall bus!
- Over/Under - number of Chow Chow dogs with ribbons 🎀 in line for Christmas treats: 65 - take the over - the owners would much rather take their Chow Chows to Lights On than their bratty children!!
- Over/under - number of folks whose hearts were broken by the Santas House at Utica Square, not opening due to social distancing - take the over AND the under - all children were heartbroken but no adults were heartbroken to miss those long lines and cold north winds!
Several Elves on the Shelves were spotted at Tulsa area Targets, sitting on empty toilet paper shelves!!
Faked Out Sports Notes:
- Are TU fans living high on the hog or is that just for Razorback fans!! What does ‘ living high on the hog ‘ mean?? Back in the younger days of my life in Harrison, Arkansas this was referred to as the upper part of the little piggy which was the most delicious and succulent part!! I know, I know you think that this a special hog that was fed by grain from a cannabis shop in Harrison!! Hopefully, the Hurricane can borrow the Arkansas mojo of high on the hog and continue their play on the football field until the AAC Championship!!
- FOS slightly, kinda, early Top 10 Christmas commercials: 1. Anheuser Busch Clydesdales Christmas commercials! 2. Norelco animated Santa elves riding electric shavers created in 1968! 3. December to Remember Lexus Commercials with Giant Bows on steroids! 4. Coca-Cola Polar Bear commercials!! 5. Animated M&Ms scared poopless by Santa Claus!! 1996 6. Snowman smiling for Campbells Soup!! 1993 7. Hershey's Holiday Kisses dancing to Jingle Bells!! 1986. 8. Ronald McDonald commercial - skating on an outdoor rink with animated forest animals! 1980. 9. Target Commercials over the years always gave B in T a tingly, warm fuzzy!! 10. Any old Toy R Us commercials!!
FOS College Football Picks:
GAME POSTPONED. but this would have happened, trust me!!
The Sooners have been hearing about the West Virginia Mountain Men’s defense all season!! It was QB Rattler’s responsibility to stop this chatter in front of the Pandemic crowd of 12,000!! The OU offensive punch has been aided by the return of players from the Coronavirus protocol, injury list, and smoking a doobie and got caught list!! Several Mountaineer fans were asked not bother OU fans by hacking loogies in their masks!! West Virginia fans were upset at the Sooner cheerleaders for doing a chant about the West Virginia cheerleaders pumping gas in Oklahoma Sooner cars someday!
Oklahoma State 38 Texas Tech 24
OSU Cowboys defense scores a pick-six and coach Gundy’s tucked-in-pants sweater falls out of his belt!! Too much excitement for the former ’I’m 40, I’m a man, pick on me’ dude!!
GAME CANCELLED but this may or may not have happened!
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The Golden Hurricane defense made Coach Dana Holgerson lose so much hair that he has
signed a Toupee endorsement with the Houston Toupee Association!! Numerous of my Houston TU brethren insisted linebacker Heisman candidate Zaven Collins got off the team bus and walked on water en route to the Houston stadium!!
Kansas State 31 at Baylor 21
Kansas State freshman QB Will Howard is the nephew of Andy Griffith show’s Opie or better known as movie mogul director Ron Howard!! True shat! Google it! I swear!!
GAME CANCELLED but you never know!
Arkansas 38 at Missouri 31
A full-blown giant feral hog from the western hills of Arkansas can tear apart a Tiger from Mizzou in 30 seconds! Just saying!!
Alabama 49 Auburn 23
Coach Hugh Freeze of Liberty will become the new Auburn coach and Gus Calzone of Auburn will become the new Liberty College head coach! B in T prediction of the year !
Texas A&M 53 LSU 24
The Aggies should win by 100 but Coach Oregon of LSU started unstoppable sobbing in the third quarter and A&M execs decided to keep the clock running through the rest of the second half!!
Texas 42 Iowa State 34
Clones QB Purdy and Texas QB Ellinger consoled each other and after the game and finally agreed that Spencer Rattler is their idle!! Each one has Rattler posters over their beds a la Farrah Faucet!!
Notre Dame 45 at North Carolina 42
Tough road game but the Irish are a team of destiny!! Mac Brown has been rejuvenated at a basketball school!!
FOS High School Playoff Picks:
6AI
Union 47 Edmond Sante Fe 41 at Owasso
Union is changing its mascot name to the Ralley Cats since the team has rallied its season from four straight losses to the 6A Championship!
Owasso 38 Jenks 31 at Broken Arrow
B in T’s gut feels like picking Jenks by 6 but it looks like we are going with his loyalty to his Rams and their coaching staff!!
6AII
Stillwater 31 Choctaw 21
The Stillwater Pioneers are so strong and athletic that the team is out in public they are sometimes confused for their big brothers the Oklahoma State Cowboys who dwell in Stillwater, Oklahoma!!
Bixby 44 Midwest City 22
Some Bixby Spartan players are seeking their sixth Gold Ball in seven years!! The Pandemic year 2020 is not different than another non-pandemic for the dominant Spartans!! Strap up the pads, get tested for foreign Pandemic diseases or foreign drugs and kick butt on the football field !
5A
Bishop McGinness 42 Coweta 38
The homer pick here would be the Tigers from Coweta but McGuinness has more talent and Priests than all other 5A schools!!
Bishop Kelley 27 Carl Albert 20
The Bishop Kelley vs Carl Albert series dates back to the early 1900s for myself and our Uncle Howard!! I was the first amateur writer to put sarcasm into his edition of sports that, at the time, were using live pigs to play football!! Howard was the first Carl Albert principal to make his players do actual chores as punishment!! Similar to numerous ’Little House on the Prairie’, episodes!!
4A
Cushing 36 Hilldale 32
This game has been moved for television to the ESPN channel deporte!! The Cushing talented sophomore connection mysteriously showed up on Cushing's doorstep during Coronavirus, are taking the Tigers to the State Championship!! B in T’s family nephew, Caleb, is off Coronavirus watch and back on the field!! Uncle B expects 5 tackles, 1 personal foul and 2 teeth missing (preferably Hilldale teeth) or no Apple Pie from mom!!
Wagoner 42 Tuttle 31
The winner of this game will be the 4A state champions!! Sorry family in Cushing who I love dearly!!
3A
Lincoln Christian 45 Anadarko 27
The Crusaders have more beef than the Anadarko Armadillos!! Lincoln’s uniforms are similar to the San Fransisco 49ers and their O-line is almost as big!! Several Anadarko fans were upset that the Lincoln Christian press box announcer made a grammatical error and called their town Donniedarko (2001 creeper Johnny Depp movie) and not Anadarko!!
Holland Hall 42 Kingfisher 22
Future TU defensive end Owen Ostroski made 16 tackles and served Thanksgiving leftovers after the game!! True shat!!
2A
Eufala 36 Victory Christian 16
Nice run in the playoffs for Victory!!
Metro Christian 55 Vian 45
The over/under for total points from these two offensive juggernauts was 125 and I conservatively took the under!!
A
Tonkawa 42 Thomas Faye Custer 13
B in T is very thankful for the extremely odd names of all of the Tonkawa playoff opponents!! Example: this week’s Thomas Fay Custer Terriers opponent sounds like an expensive dog found only in Europe!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Dallas 31 Washington 27
I am truly thankful that the Cowboys season is almost over!!
Steelers 27 Ravens 21
Pittsburg and Baltimore will meet in a few weeks for the AFC Championship!! NOT!
Browns 31 Jaguars 21
Very thankful for Baker Mayfield’s ability to throw 12 passes and still win the ball game!!
Chiefs 35 Tampa Bay 32
Out with the old and in with the new! Maholmes defeats Brady!!
Packers 24 Bears 14
Aaron Rodgers is headed for the All-State commercial HOF!! And of course the NFL HOF!?
Have a great sports week!!
Faked Out Sports/Bryan in Tulsa
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B, in T |
The Tigers of Missouri were named after a militia that protected Columbia. They carried gun. If it came to it, they'd shoot those feral hogs. Just sayin.'
ReplyDeletePoor feril piggies!! Great game!!
DeleteThanks for reading!!
ReplyDelete