B in T/FOS
FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin!
The Elf on the Shelf is CREEPY!
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FOS Research Team Has Discovered Some Interesting Little Known Facts About The Elf On The Shelf!!
- The Elf on the Shelf is a distant relative of CHUCKY the doll!!
- The Elf on the Shelf’s eyes will follow you all over the house!! Trust me I just now tried it!! Scary shat bro!
- The Elf on the Shelf that existed when B in T was a young B in T, are at my grandkids houses NOW!! How did they fricking get there!! Very eeerrie!!
- The Elf on the Shelf watches the kids and sends naughty or nice reports daily to Santa via their tiny, itty-bitty cell phones!! True shat! Google it!! I dare u!
- The Elf on the Shelf is not potty trained! So, red and green Hershey’s Chocolates may not be what they seem!!
- The Elf on the Shelf does resemble a young boy Donnie Trump!! But young Donnie looks more like a Chucky doll!!
- The Elf on the Shelf can be transgender!! As long as they get their list of naughty and nice to the Santa team by midnight each evening until December 23rd!!
- Is The Elf on the Shelf simply a Christmas Elf from the North Pole that is earning his pointy ears before working in the Toy Workshop?? Or is he sent to sit on the Shelf for a period of time as punishment for default toy making?
- The Elf on the Shelf has been hired by the Houston Astros to steal signs!!
- Elf shat - what you look for when tracking Elves in the forest!!
Watch out for the Elf!!
Non-Sports Related Stuff:
Will the chicks on Sex in the City still be doing remakes in 10 years when they are all 90 years old? God, I hope not! I never thought they were hot in their prime, if you could call it that!!
If you are a Tulsa Police Officer and you needed to make a ticket-writing quota by the end of November just go to any Walmart and hang around the handicap parking area on Black Friday! As a handicapped smart ass dude myself, I would personally buy dinner, purchase hot chocolate or coffee, wash and wax their squad cars, shine their shoes and give them copies of B in T Faked Out Sports if they would write tickets to the fine quality individuals who park their worthless lazy butts in the handicap parking in a very large Walmart on south Lewis!! With no sign of a handicap tag anywhere!! This gripe session was paid for by anyone but Donald Trump for president!! Seriously, I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!! 🎁🎄🌲🌲☃️☃️☃️🎁🎁🎁
FOS Short List for Next Razorback Head Coach:
Lane Kiffin HC- Florida Atlantic has requested his own hairstylist as part of his contract! Ole Miss nabs him! Too late Razorbacks!!
Houston Nutt - has applied for every division one head coaching college football job for the last 4 years!! He did not pass Hog background test!!
Keith Burns- (currently working for a Hummer Dealership) He did not pass Hog drug test!
Mike Leach (Washington State) - he was a frontrunner with the Razorback brass but regressed when he started speaking about living on Mars in the middle of an interview!! He did not pass the Hog psychiatric test!!
Seth Littrell (North Texas) on every coaching list with Houston Nutt, but has much better odds than the Nutt!
Jason Garrett (fired coach walking, Dallas Cowboys) please hire him, PLEASE! Passed all Razorback tests but smelled funny in interviews!!
Mike Norvell (Memphis HC) - super candidate, my favorite pick with Keith Burns! Hire by Florida State!!
Barry Lunney Junior (Interim HC Arkansas) - favorite son of the Razorbacks, was starting QB for the Hogs in the mid-90s for 40 games!! Passed all tests but not a big enough name for the Razorback mucketty mucks!!
B in T TV Watching Dilemma!!
- Watch the my Dallas Cowboys play the Chicago Bears with the worst coach in the history of football!
OR
2. Watch Saturday Night Live
Christmas Special with Mrs.
B in T by the fireplace with hopes
of headphones for Mr. B in T in
the air!!
Went with number 2, no headphones from Mrs. B in T, just exercise pants but a great evening by the fireplace!!
FOS Bobbleheads!
I was very excited to see my little Ana’s 3-year-old ballet recital recently!! Watching the other parents was very entertaining!! College football’s big offensive linemen use ballet at times to help their feet work and make them feel liter on their tippy-toes!! Little Ana was perfect in her very special ballet performance!! A lot of ballet experts say that a tomboy child-like Ana will not be long for the ballet world!! Papa B in T says Ana will do what makes her happy!
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B, in T
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