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Monday, June 17, 2019

Cow Tipping and Concuss Protocols/Area Sideline Reporters


Faked Out Sports B in T

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This will be funny stuff regarding kids sports from an old farts perspective!(B in T) Stay tuned!!!!

This was grandson Gustavo’s last soccer game for the season!  He scored 2 goals and received the first participation trophy of his career!!  We will discuss participation trophies another day!!  The treats that day, were CUPCAKES and fruit drinks with SUGAR!!  I really wanted to hug this cute mom but I was told to behave by my daughter or no more games for Papa!!  No sugarless, tofu smelling, cardboard tasting snacks at this soccer game!!!  I thanked God that I survived a stroke and would be around for more bobblehead stuff to write about!!   Enough of the serious stuff, Dilly Dilly!!

Cow Tipping in Oklahoma and Texas is as Popular as Surfing at the California Beaches (In Thong Bikinis!)

Cow tipping in certain counties of Oklahoma has become legalized!!  All counties in Texas have legalized cow tipping since prohibition in the 1920’s!!  Cow tipping officially became a sport in ’70s when rival ranchers began tipping each other's cows over the night before the big FFA Kay County Fair!!  This story has been documented by my wife who was the 1977 Kay County Fair FFA Queen!!  This IS a very true story!  Back in the ’70s cow tipping was very unsafe and numerous cow concussions were reported by cow veterinarians!   Currently, cow tipping is very safe and protected by cow helmets which are worn at night!!  Cow hip displacement is currently being addressed by cow veterinarians and could be an injury issue with the increased cow tipping sports popularity!!  Veterinarian journals on cow tipping and medical concerns, can be found in the following:

  1. The National Cow Weekly Journal
  2. Future Farmers of America Journal ”We Take Cow Tipping Serious”
  3. The Cow Institute Journal ”What Is So Wrong About a World Without Cow Tipping?”

We at Faked Out Sports Do not Condone or Support Cow Tipping.

The Over/Under For Wins in Razorback Football This Year Is 5.5!!!  B IN T WILL TAKE THE OVER!!  WHY??  READ!!

Coach Morris is putting together a defense to match his offense in 2019!!  Do not underestimate Morris ability to recruit speed in Arkansas and the surrounding states!!  Defensive Coordinator, John Chavous who was DC at Tennessee, LSU and Texas A&M from 2002 to 2017!!  A very impressive resume even for the high and mighty at Hog world!!  At Arkansas, his total defense ended ranking 78th and his turnover categories were improved from 2017!!  His ability to recruit at each of his stops has made him an elite DC and has warranted a 1.5 million dollar 2019 contract!!  This is the largest ever for a Coordinator at the University of Arkansas!!  So Chavous is a better recruit and coach as well and FOS will be watching and so will the Hog big donors!!!   Whoooo Pig Sooooey Razorbacks!!

Area Football Sideline Reporters Come in Different Shapes and Sizes!!

Oklahoma University-  Chris Plank 5’9” 175 lbs (he will play scatback on our all sideline team!) Plank is an 8 year veteran of the OU sideline and is one of the top sideline dwellers of all college football!  His part-time gig on FOX radio and as an announcer for the Superpower OU Softball team has given him nationwide accreditation!!  Teddy Lehman 6’3” 225lbs (he will play linebacker and running back or where ever he wants, on the all sideline reporter team!)  Lehman was a former OU All-American linebacker and NFL 5 year veteran!!  Lehman's in-depth knowledge of the college football game has made his transition to the intense Sooner sideline amazing!!  

Rating A

Oklahoma State Robert Allen- 6’0” 300+ ( he will play OL, DL and snapper on the sideline reporter team!)  Allen is a twenty year veteran of roaming the Cowboy sidelines!!  If you were to look up the definition of ‘Homer’ in the Webster Dictionary you would find a picture of Robert Allen in OSU colors down to his Pistol Pete underwear!  Allen graduated from OSU, met his wife at OSU, his son played at OSU and his daughter is running for Homecoming queen, at you guessed it, OSU!!  His knowledge of he Poke sports range from an injury report on the volleyball team’s back up spikers Achilles tendon to the availability of the scout team’s second string deep snapper for fall practice!!  He is the God of Oklahoma State sports stuff!!   

Rating A-

Tulsa University- Jeremy Poplin 6’4” 191 lbs (recently lost 90 lbs, so he has been moved from lineman to wide receiver!)  Jeremy is about to break Chris Planks record for staying with sports radio in Tulsa for 20 years!!  His hard work and dedication to the local sports media in the Tulsa area is remarkable!  I have listened to Pop all of those years!!  He has been a one-man show on radio and his show on the Tulsa football sidelines is terrific!!  When he took over the Tulsa sidelines for Plank I personally thought that this was Pop’s niche!!  Pop has always been smooth and approachable to the TU football coaches and student-athletes when interviewing!!  

Rating A

Arkansas University- Geno Bell 6’4” 275 lbs (defensive lineman for the the Razorbacks in the mid-90s thus he is automatically a lineman for the sideline reporter team!)  Geno replaced Quinn Grovey as sideline reporter in 2017, when Grovey moved to the Razorback color analyst position in the air-conditioned booth!

Rating B+

Words of wisdom from the unwise one:  Never go to your grandson's morning soccer game after having a bran muffin and a fiber bar for breakfast!!

Have a great sports week!!

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