*SPECIAL REPORT*
Felix Teale from Laverne, Oklahoma, Class B, 8-man football was invited to the Oklahoma-Tulsa game last week!
Teale’s 2022 Sophomore Year Stats: Rushing Total: 2629 yards, Avg 11.0 yards per carry, 45 TD's Passing Total: 1090 yards, 13 TD's!! Obviously, lthe young man was invited by TU, not OU, and he is on Tulsa’s radar fo sho! Thank you Coach Wilson for remembering the Chris Penns from Lennepah, Oklahoma 8-man football land!!
I know, I know I am a TU HOMER, but how cool to have an 8-man football recruit from Laverne, Oklahoma in the sidelines for the TU-OU game!! Go young man!!
Bryan in Tulsa
FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM
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Bobblehead Sports:
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Bryan in Tulsa is adding the Youth Football picks to his repertoire of humor!!
With NIL (Name, Image, and ) Likeness) deals prominent, even in the youth football leagues, I finally procured a deal with the 1st grade Bixby Blue!! Their coach and his NFL Commissioner wannabe son, were very aggressive!! After negotiations dragged on into the season, finally each payer agreed to a NIL deal of a Hot Wheels 20 pack :
AND a Lego police car:
Bixby 1st Grade Blue 16 Jenks White 6
This game started at 9:00 AM
in the frickin morning!! No football games start at 9 in the morning!! Old farts like me are always up at 6 am putting teeth in and eating grapefruit! Not 6 year olds!! AND why is the football field called the Bixby Soccer field???? If you say ‘Bixby FOOTBALL’ folks shake in their Justins or Wranglers - but say ‘Bixby Soccer’ then folks eat a sandwich or take a nap!! Bixby Blue had better energy drinks thus a victory plus a Legos and Hot Wheels NIL deal!!
B in T Rants:
My Fraternity brother Gene was on the KORN radio website (I am familiar with the PORN radio website, not Korn, haha, JK!) and the really amusing fact according to him was among the other stories in their site was the local Elkton school sports!! They actually call their teams the "KERNALS"!! No one should ever make fun of Oklahoma small town teams again.. I bet their mascot is a giant corn cob!! It was all just too KORNY for me!! Mitchell High School, Mitchell, South Dakota is a fun and cold place!! This city is all about corn!! Not only is the crop scattered all over the city, but several parts of the town use it as a namesake!! The local AM radio station is KORN, and the city’s most advertised tourist destination is the Corn Palace, which is decorated in corn murals and houses concerts and other local events, including Mitchell High School’s indoor sporting events!! I am making my Brother Gene my new Associate Editor of Bryan in Tulsa!!
The New Mitchell Kernell Mascot:
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B in T College Football Picks:
LSU 38 Arkansas 34
Tiger Stadium is the 5th largest in America!! Add that to the fact that Tiger fans are ruthless, loud, obnoxious, and stinky, it immediately gives Tiger Nation a home-field advantage!! Vegas automatically awards the Tigers a 4-point home-field advantage with 1 point alone for their stinky fans!!
The Razorbacks were driving for the winning touchdown with a minute left but the Tiger mystic took over the stadium and QB KJ Jefferson through a pick in the end zone!! Drat!!!
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Week 5 - Sooner Guest Coach Venables Pullback Coach -
Jeepers Creepers
Cinncinati 35 Oklahoma 33
Huge upset with the KREF listeners who bleed crimson and cream on a gluten-free suicide watch!! The rest of college football was not shocked at all!!
Nippert Stadium, Cincinnati, Ohio hosts the mighty rebuilding Sooners with 5-star athletes running amuck all over Nippert Stadium like baby bearcats all over Cinncinatti!!
Cincinnati QB Emory Jones completed 17 of 27 passes for 242 yards and two touchdowns throwing and 2 rushing!! OU QB Dillon Gabriel was subbed after two interceptions in the first half by freshman 5-star stud Jackson Arnold relieved Sooners in the 4th Quarter and came up just short!! Arnold showed some arm zip not seen since Lincoln Riley left Sooner Land at high noon a couple of years ago!! The Sooners now have 5 star QB's coming out of the wazoo but u can't play three 5-star QBs at the same time according to Sooner Coach Venables!! Pick one and run with it!! Offensive Coordinator Coach Levy has put Arnold at the top if the list before the Red River Rivalry against the Texas Short horns!!
Iowa State 17 Oklahoma State 9
B in T comments regarding the incredulous, inhumane cheater ‘Clones will not be talked about today! Cowboy coach Gundy was pleased that his offense picked it up a notch but was on Zip Recruiter looking for a new Defensive Coordinator 2 hours after the game!!
Friend and a long-time top 18 reader of B in T, Kevin states:
‘ A Pillow fight this week in Ames. The team with 5 starters out for gambling vs the leftover players at OSU, that plays 5 QBs each game!! One team will actually get a Big 12 win. This might be our only chance for a conference W all season.
When is basketball?’
🤣🤣😂Jump on over to the Sooner, TU, and Arkansas bandwagons!!🤣🤣🤣😂
Tulsa 35 at N. Illinois 31
This game was scheduled for ESPN + but was moved to the ESPN Catfish Noodling channel when only one camera was sent to DeKalb, Illinois!! The simple fact that Tulsa knows much more about noodling than anyone from Illinois helped get the camera in place!! Thus, Tulsa covered the 3-point spread!!
Note: Fatty’s Pub and Grille in DeKalb, Illinois is where a number of Happy Timers Golden Hurricane Club fans met after the game!! Hurricane fans closed the place down after the last call for free chips 🍟 and salsa ended at 8:00 pm Saturday night!! We Ubered to DeKalb Best Western and we enter into 💤nighty nighttime!! 💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤
Fatty’s Pub and Grill
Baylor 37 Texas 35
B in T on Crack Upset ********Special***********
The Longhorns big dollar trustees are starting to measure for a noose for Coach Sarkisian's neck!!! Texas has 10 5-star and 22 4-star players according to the latest Recruiting Gods from 247 Sports!! On the other hand, the Baylor Bears have a bunch of 3-stars and a couple of 4-star cats who will run through a brick wall to prove they are better than the mighty Horns!!
TCU 38 SMU 27
So after the Georgia Bulldogs beat the blender pulp out of the horned froggies in the 2022 CFB Finals, I thought I must include the Frogs in future B in T picks!! A few of my readers are Texas Christian fans so I have included these picks to keep my readership above 15!! Fans for ‘froggies with horns’ have come out of nowhere after the Frogs made the CFB Finals (as mentioned above Georgia beat TCU like a frog in a blender in the semis)
last year!!
The Mustangs are pretenders and an invite to the Big Sky Conference is right around the corner for the yuppies from Dallas!!
Texas A&M 38 Auburn 31
The Aggies with new QB sensation (not) Connor Weigmen a sophomore from Burns Flat, Oklahoma who had a tremendous grade at QB last year at 158.6 for the last 3 games last year; threw for 3 touchdowns and 267 yards as the Aggie's number 1 QB!! A number of folks with Aggie Nation are asking for senior backup QB Max Johnson to take control after a couple of average performances in the early nonconference 2023 games!! But with the Auburn performance, the Wolves have backed off!! New Auburn head coach Hugh Freeze is using his run-and-shoot offense, similar to recently fired Auburn coach Gus Calzone (ex-Tulsa OC!)! We will see how long Coach Freeze lasts at Auburn while using ‘gimmicking’ offenses!!
Louisville 35 Boston College 18
The BC Eagles are soaring but not this weekend!! Next week the Eagles will soar!! The Cardinals are above average at home!!
Oregon 48 Colorado 23
Oregon’s Nike Relationship with Primetime Deon kept the score Oregon score under 50
at halftime!
Notre Dame 24 Ohio State 21
Last-second 48-yard Uwve Von Schuman kick won the game for the elite Irish!! Now, the Irish Defense is led DC Al Golden and Buckeye transfer Javontae Jean-Baptiste had 6 tackles, 2 TFLs, and a sack! After the young man from Brazil kicked the winning field goal to beat Ohio State he announce he was transferring to Ohio State Buckeye Land in 2024!!
Penn State 18 Iowa 14
I promised one of my Hawkeye readers that I would not make fun of their kicker being their leading scorer every year!! So I gave Iowa 14 points via 7 safeties!! I love the Hawkeye’s and the Clones' offensive styles, one the TE Waggle play and the other linebacker
BYU 35 at Kansas 27
Anytime the Jayhawks have a sell-out crowd in Lawrence, Kansas for BYU big-time college football, ya better frickin win bro!!
Illinois 36 Directional School with an Owl Mascot 10
This game might have been closer if it were an academic bowl!
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Super Oklahoma team names:
Paoli Pugs
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B in T High School Picks:
September 15th, An Early sighting of the World Famous Pumpkin Man was spotted at a local dentist's office handing out brownies to all patients with no cavities! A local Dentist known for his hot and voluptuous work staff has agreed to give away special brownies all-day Fridays during high school football season!!! Dr. Stephens figures the publicity of having Pumpkin Man show up OR the money saved by using the brownies instead of expensive nitrous gas!! It is a win win! His hot wife and office manager love the saving thousands of dollars during football season!!
Actual Dr. Stevens Office Staff Pictures:
Dental Office Manager Hotty
Hygienist Hotty
Dental Assistant Hotty
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Bishop Kelley 42 Will Rogers Academy 20
BK QB Stice Smith threw for 2 touchdowns and ran over two Will Rogers Ropers for two more touchdowns!! A number of BK parents were upset when many BMW catalytic converters were stolen from the BK Booster parking lot!! True story, dare ya to Google it bro!
Bixby 58 Norman North 23
Norman North loses 14 kids to graduation but retains massive offensive lineman Harrison Utley!! Not enough ummmph for North to keep up with Bixby’s 2nd teamers but RB Cordell Gouldsby should be a monster at the next level!!
Perry 38 at Blackwell 13
The Blackwell Gun Show was moved from Thursday to Friday after the Blackwell Elks Lodge toilet exploded during a Wednesday church service!! The Maroon football crowd was very sparse (with a total attendance of 35, including officials) due to the Blackwell Gun Show overflow attendance!!! The few that watched the game saw that Blackwell has no beefcakes to stop Perry!! Go Marroons! Ha!
*This was an actual picture of the Blackwell Elks Lodge! Notice the small dog on the car dashboard!!
BTW 41 Sand Springs 35
Sand Springs coach Bobby Klinck has young Soph QB Easton Webb who was 20-32 with 2 TDs passing, 2 TDs rushing, and 2 interceptions! With Hornet offensive linemen Darian Melendez and Koreon Williams paving the way for RB Myka Washington’s 15-yard touchdown with 13 seconds left to secure the win!!
Darian Melendez
Broken Arrow 56 Westmore 13
Coach Josh Blankenship has Derrick Osmond a 6-6 235lb Defensive end and recent signee to the University of Tulsa to wreak havoc in the Westmore backfield throughout the evening!! Broken Arrow Kicker Hunter Martens kicked 3 field goals over 35 yards helping the Tigers to victory!!
Carl Albert 56 Lawton Ike 18
Carl Albert’s Caden Davis led the state with 21 sacks in 2022, and had 3 sacks against the porous Lawton Ike offensive line Friday night!! 2025 OU signee Kevin Sperry completed 22 of 25 passes for 3 TDs and 336 yards and has 4 NIL deals worth $75,000 Chucky Cheese Buckaroos for each of the 4 Chucky Cheeses in the Oklahoma City area!! These items are worth approximately 350 dollars in deep-dish pizza!!
Holland Hall 35 Cascia Hall 31
The New 2024 AE Sports Game!!
The Comandos are throwing the ball this year with a wide-open west coast dink and dank passing attack while leaving the Green Bay Packer dive left dive right package at home!! After finishing 5-6 last year the Holland Hall Dutchmen will be stronger this year and will give the Commandos a run for their money! Dutchman Sophomore QB Burleson, no relation to Nick Burleson of NFL SlimeTime fame, completed 12 of 16 passes for 2 TDS and 270 yards passing!! The young man's parents are both doctors, so a NIL deal for cars, clothes or trips to the Bajomas meant nothing!!Soooo the young man with his parents present, signed his first NIL deal right after the game for the new AE Sports 2024 College Football game!!
Cascia Hall Run and Shoot Offense!!
Choctaw 70 Putman City North
Coach Corbin’s Yellow Jackets super stud receiver Juju Smith caught 5 passes with two hands and 3 one-handed catches for 145 yards and 2 touchdowns!! All of the area colleges, Tulsa, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State offered him a scholarship after his last one-handed catch between the legs! True story!
Cushing 38 Miami Wardogs 28
The Wardogs are a B in T's top 3 Oklahoma high school nicknames!! And the Nunber 1 Oklahoma B in T logo!!
War Dogs assist the Armed Forces by scouting, as sentries, and mercy dogs !!
Claremore 45 Hale 6
Claremore ‘D’ returns 8 starters!! The starting Sr. Quarterback, Braxton Etheridge, should lead the Zebras to victory and a third-place finish in 5A District 2!!
Jenks 48 at Enid 20
Linebacker Jett Calmus, Jenk’s legend Rocky Calmus’es son, is approaching more career tackles than Rocky and should break that record by the 8th game of the season! Hudson Ball, a 6’3” 235 lb Jenks defensive end, made 3 sacks, 4 tackles for loss, and a scholarship offer from Tulsa and OSU!!
Rocky Calmus
Not
Teddy Lehman
B in T Top Mom Competition:
Enid Moms: .965
Jenks Moms: .952
Believe it or not, the contest came down to an arm wrestling match! The winner takes all!! Enid's top-arm wrestling mom, Lucinda ‘thunder arms’ Mancuso won the contest with a 12-second arm pin!!
B in T Diner of Week - Enid, Ok
Wee Too Diner
4002 N 4th St, Enid, OK 73701
Best breakfast diner in Oklahoma, the fluffiest biscuits this side of the Red River and the gravy has chunks of sausage and bacon in each succulent bite!!
Union 57 Owasso 51
Union revenged a 6 overtime loss to Owasso in 2022 with a 4 overtime win at Union in 2023!!
Union 3-time transfer Shaker Reisig threw for 6 touchdowns and the game-winner in OT!!! Wideout Jino Boyd, from Union, caught 3 TD passes from Reisig, and transfer running back Jordan Snelling ran for 188 yards and 2 TDs!! The Owasso Ram's O Line led by D 1 prospects tackles Ryker Haff(a transfer from Stuttgart, Germany) and Blake Cherry help make holes for 300-plus yards rushing!!
Shake Reisig
B in T Pro Picks
Cardinals 27 Cowboys 24
The Cardinals have made an offer for Tom Brady as long as he does nothing but play football for the Cards THIS year!! He cannot date, drink, smoke, drive, eat bad food, chew, play any sport except football, Madden 2024, and Boccia Ball!! This should happen very soon!!
Chiefs 36 Bears 21
Da Bears met their match with Kansas City!! The Chiefs signed defensive end Chris Jones for billions and waived Travis Kelce!!
Jets 34 Patriots 23
Aaron Rodgers looked like the Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers days!! He completed 26 of 33 passes for 3 TDs and 321 yards!! Zero interceptions and 1 rushing touchdown!!
Jaguars 27 Texans 21
The Texan's stud running back Dameon Pierce tried to single-handedly win the game with 21 carries for 122 yards and 1 touchdown, he also caught 5 passes for 72 yards!!
His fumble with .45 seconds left sealed the deal for the Jags!!
Buccaneers 21 Eagles 17
Buccaneer QB Baker Mayfield threw a 60-yard TD to Mike Evans with 1:32 seconds left in the fourth quarter to win the game for the Bucs and keep Baker’s job for1 more week!!
Have a great sports week!
Bryan in Tulsa
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