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Wednesday, May 25, 2022

95 more days till Futball!

Bryan in Tulsa:


🙏🙏 Uvalde, Texas 🙏🙏


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The PGA Championship is over and the last bus has taken the fans to their cars from all over the world!!  There is a quiet all over Southern Hills, in South Tulsa!   This is the quiet confidence of having a successful event shown worldwide without a hitch!!  We are ready for the next big Golf event in Tulsa!!  Bring it on!!  Congratulation to the winner,             Justin Thomas who won after a playoff with Will Zalatoris!!  For the first time a major was tied at the end of regulation  in 20 years!!  Thanks to all of the winners who helped make this sporting event one of the best ever in Oklahoma!!

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Will we see the PGA back in Tulsa (T Town) in 2031??  Or the U.S. Open?


Bobblehead Sports: 


If you are pondering why Grandson Gus gets so much B in T airtime he is outnumbered 7 to 1!!!  Poor fellow!

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B in T notes:


2022 B in T Big 12 Football Predictions:


Top 10 B in T Way Early Tailgate Experiences!


  1. Texas vs Oklahoma

Fried possum on a stick!!!  Nothing better!!  The Red River Rivalry pits Oklahoma and Texas against each other at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas every fall, and coincides with the Texas State Fair!!  Unlike the typical tailgate atmosphere, fans roam the fairgrounds in crimson and cream or burnt orange gorging themselves on delicious fried food, which includes outrageous delicacies like fried corn dogs, fried funnel cakes, fried pickles, fried Oreos, fried sticks of butter, fried beer and fried soda!!  My second favorite is fried armadillo on a stick!!  Very succulent!


  1. Texas A&M

Numerous trips to this super festive football frenzy thanks to Mrs. B in T's Aggie relatives!!  There’s a reason Texas A&M fans are called The 12th Man. Enter Kyle Field, and see 102,733 fans sway in unison to the chants by Aggie Yell Leaders.

As far as tailgating, the food and hospitality are top-notch!

Cooking is an art form in College Station with outrageously delicious selections like smoked brisket, stuffed jalapenos, bacon mixed with cream cheese, ribeye wrapped with bacon and covered with bleu cheese, and all types of prime cuts — including gator bites when Florida comes to visit!!


  1. Ohio State    As a TU fan the Buckeye tailgate was a bit intimidating by the simple number of fans with Bucky Buckeye Brutus heads on!!

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         No tailgate list would be complete without the university that brags about being The Ohio State University!  Ohio State is steeped in tradition, including everything from Skull Sessions (pep rallies) at St. John Arena, The Best Damn Band in the Land, the wearing of scarlet and gray, the seriousness about competing for a national championship, and the spelling out of O-H-I-O!!!


  1. Notre Dame

The fans are snooty but most are on first name basis with the Pope, so they say!!  Tulsa fans and myself were chastised for playing our victory song after the upset victory by my Golden Hurricane!!  I have never in a billion years heard anyone complain about our frickin band being TOO LOUD!!  Hehehe, but awesome atmosphere!!  Take the Stadium Tunnel Tour and take the walk into Notre Dame Stadium, something every Golden Domer has done since 1931.  Some consider South Bend to be the mecca of college football, so savor the tradition!!  I consider it history, cuz Tulsa will never be invited back there!!


  1. Arkansas

B in T has been tailgating in hog land since they used actual baby piglets as the football!!  Superfans that the gentleman students wear suits for the entire 98-degree weather in early September!!  The tailgaters serve more hog pork than chicken, which makes the Tyson donors unhappy!!  

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Hog-A-Rita-Ville is my favorite!!


  1. 0klahoma

Super party before each home game, numerous trips there to visit  daughter over 9 years of college, and other super OU games!!  The football is not bad either!!  Haha


  1.  Oklahoma State

Best looking female co-eds in college football!!  Eskimo Joes caters food for 65% of the tailgate spots!!  No shat!  Google it, a monopoly on chili cheese fries!!  Come on Stan?

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  1. Tulsa

Yes, yes, yes, homer answer to the nth degree!!  The best 5.25 years of my life were at Tulsa University and I have tailgated on every inch of the hollowed grounds of TU!!  I have passed out on every inch of the hallowed grounds of TU!  The TU Tailgators are my current tailgating crew and have been there since being kicked out of, Furr’s, Wildfork, and Luby’s in the 90s!!


  1. Blackwell High School

Tailgating during Kay County Fair is like an acid trip!!  So fun, a great place to be when meeting your fiancee’s parents for the first freekin time!!  Deer meat sausage is the best for bbqueing while tailgating in Blackwell!!  And YES I did ask her dad if she could marry me at the Kay County Fair in Blackwell, Oklahoma!!

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  1. Cascia Hall High School

Steaks and baked potatoes on mostly Hasty-Bake grills!!  Daughter Jordan went to school there and would not let me attend any games, just the tailgates!  She said that I cussed too much during the game and the Fathers were watching me!!  Great tailgate for wine 🍇!!



B in T Tidbits:


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  • Mask mandates?  When to wear masks, when not to wear masks?  I am lucky to remember underwear each day!!  So glad that this is behind us........at least for a while!!🙏🙏🙏
  • The Oakland A’s are averaging 4k per game!!  Time to move to Nashville, OKC, or Tulsa, soon!!
  • I am ready for some FOOTBALL!!

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I may scream for the Longhorns some in 2022!!


Brendan Marion vs. Texas Longhorn hatred - what a quandary!!  Mr. Marion, famous Golden Hurricane wideout during the Tasmanian Devil Todd Graham era, is the Texas Longhorn passing game Co-ordinaror and wide receiver coach at Texas!  I am immediately enamored by a Tulsa football grad coaching at a power 5 legend in Texas!!  But while pondering Coach Marion I am reminded that I am also a huge OU fan and a Horn Hater!!  So under certain circumstances, B in T will be rooting for Burnt Orange (Alabama vs Texas on Sept. 10)!!  Shhhhh!

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  • Davis Beville, a 6-foot-6 quarterback who appeared in nine games across three seasons at Pitt, announced his commitment to Oklahoma recently!!  He will be a solid backup for stud lefty Dillon Gabriel!!

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MLB


Cardinals - 22-20 The Birds called 2B Gorman and lefty P Liberace up from AAA Memphis to help an anemic hitting lineup and a bumbling pitching staff!!  The Gorman kid led the minors in home runs but has only knocked in 23 runs with 16 home runs!!  Need better output if u want to be a Cardinal in the biggies bro!!


Royals - 14-26 - the Royals are dead last in the Majors in pitching so, the move by GM was to fire the hitting coach???!!!!  The GM should be removed!!  Manager Matheny is well respected in the St. Louis area and Kikapoo High School is looking for a hitting coach!!!  Dilly Dilly Royals fans!!


Rangers - Uncle Thurston!! The Rangers are in 3rd place in the tuff AL West!!!!   Time to party in Arlington!!  The Rangers are 19-22 and have the best record this deep in the season since Ron Washington tweaked the sidelines in 2010!!


White Sox-  21-21 - Manager Tony La Russo who at 78 is feeling the heat for the first time since arriving on the south side of Chicago!!  Inside sources say that La Russa may have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and that could add to the team's downhill slide!


Have a great sports week!!


Bryan in Tulsa!


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T

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Wednesday, May 18, 2022

More PGA Fun

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


B in T Visits the PGA at Southern Hills:

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Gorgeous scenery at Southern Hills, the handicap area is awesome for us with limited mobility!!  This is take your dad to work day and my gracious son took the time to show B in T the back roads of Southern Hills!  Like the back lots of Universal Studios the back lots of the PGA is massive and impressive!!   I hung with the volunteers behind the scenes and met the gentleman in charge of the grounds!!  After I hugged Lance he went back to hortorculturing work!!  At this time B in T was the responsibility of Andre, son-in-law deluxe!!  From 1 till 3 Andre fed Papa B in T lunch consisting of a 20-dollar Michelob Platinum beer, and a hot dog!!  I saw Tiger Woods  practicing driving, John Rahm teeing off, Rickie Fowler teeing off, and Scottie Scheffler hitting practice balls out of a bunker on the 7th hole!!  Great pictures and memories for my family



BOBBLEHEAD SPORTS:

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Granddaughter Frankie in OKC is 3 going on 18 and can recite all dinosaurs that the Lord has created!  She found a G rated movie called, you guessed it, Dinasour and a small disagreement on what type of dinosaur ate a giant prehistoric warthog!!  After a mini-debate, she produces a dinosaur from one of 10 dinosaur books that looked exactly like the movie!!  So one more time that Papa was out thunk by his grandchildren!!


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Day 16 of Lance Guarding the PGA Trophy:

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The Last week of Guarding the PGA Championship Trophy!!  Nothing major has occurred except when a cute young lady tried to get a picture with the trophy without paying the 25-dollar fee!!  The young Cascia Hall student was leveled to the ground on the long 12th hole at Southern Hills by two Horticulture experts who put her in a headlock until she forked over the 25 dollars!!  Heroes Lance and another gentleman who has requested his identity be concealed, were given autographed Tiger Woods balls for their heroism!!  


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B in T Notes:


There are two types of Power Rankings!!  Analytics vs Diaper Usage:

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College Football Power Rankings Top 10:


These 2022 rankings are calculated using the expected point margin against an average team on a neutral field!!

  1. Alabama Crimson Tide
  2. Ohio State Buckeyes
  3. Georgia Bulldogs
  4. Clemson Tigers
  5. Notre Dam Fighting Irish
  6. Texas Longhorns
  7. Michigan Wolverines
  8. Oklahoma Sooners
  9. Pittsburgh Panthers
  10. Auburn Tigers


B in T Family and Pet Flatulent Power Rankings Top 10:


To all future Grandparents especially my best friend Brett!!

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These rankings are calculated by the number of diapers blown up or eyes watered!!


  1. Charlie, granddaughter - Gas mask required when hugging!
  2. Gus, the only male Grandchild, poor fella!  Last year his second-grade class was sent outside for 15 minutes because of a stink bomb, hmmmmm?  Good one Gussy!!  Very proud Papa!!
  3. Ana, the oldest granddaughter, once threw a loaded diaper splat dab on Papa B in T’s head, mild concussion!  Papa in Concussion protocol for one week!!
  4. Tie - Frankie and Rosie- My OKC grandkids, limited samples from both rugrats due to OKC visits only.  Papa heard from his son-in-law Clark that their diaper's odor can stop a charging Rhino!!   

  6.  Elliott - only 4 months old -         almost finished a whole plate of jalapeno tater tots!  Diaper explosions to a whole notha level!

   7.  Nula - granddaughter - small sample size but Mimi says very loaded diaper, like the rest!

   8.  Nibbles - cat -  litter box in house is now litter box in the garage!!  The hazmat team refused to enter our house!!  No shat folks!

   9.  Toast - Gus and Ana Torihno family dog - the giant puppy eats everything!  Unfortunately, everything that goes in must come out!

  10.  Henry - dog - 8 years old, small, still like to do stinkies in the house!!

  

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Golden Hurricane vs Golden Tornados?!?!?!

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B in T has been asked close to 100,000 times “uh sir, what the f _ _ _ is a Golden Hurricane”??  Thanks to some Wikipedia research, I discovered my theory of tornadoes with dirt circulating equals Golden Hurricane is wrong!!  The name "Golden Tornadoes" was chosen by TU football coach H.M. Archer (1922–24) based on new gold and black uniforms (rather than the previous orange and black) and a remark made during practice of the team "roaring through opponents" (during a season when TU went undefeated, including wins over Texas A&M and the University of Arkansas!!  However, it was quickly discovered that the same name had been chosen in 1917 by Georgia Tech Archer then substituted the term "hurricane” for "tornado” and a team vote prior to leaving for the game against Texas A&M confirmed the official nickname as "Golden Hurricane"!  Team vote?  Really?

What will the new team name be?


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Just when u thought another Bixby Presley has left the building,  another Presley will debut for OSU in 2026!!

Bixby freshman athlete Braeden Presley is already 5-11, 158 pounds!!  He is playing DB for an elite 7x7 team in Oklahoma!!  Probably heading to be with his brothers at Oklahoma State!!

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B in T Tidbits:

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  • New Basketball Coach and New Proposed Basketball Court!

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  • The house pictured below is:


  1. Where Freddie Kruger grew up.


  1. Where Halloween 2 was filmed.


  1. B in T birthplace farmhouse in Western Grove, Arkansas.


  1. “Twister” movie Aunt’s Walika, Ok house destroyed by tornado


  5.   “Amityville” house.

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*Answer - Same number equals Brett Favre's football number!


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  • OU Venables needs a Pull-Back Coach?  Over 545 resumes have been sent to the OU Athletic office for the person who holds hyperactive, lab rat on crack, coach Venable's back from the field!!  and the referees with a pull-back rope!!

Venables could:

  1. Hire hIs pullback coach from Clemson, may be too expensive!
  2. Hire local Norman club bouncers!  Very cheap, 15 bucks an hour!
  3. Hire local cattle or horse wranglers.
  4. Or purchase a shock caller and save human resource costs!

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  • *What is a hipster?  Picture Head Coach Lincoln Riley in L.A. or Head Coach Kliff Kingsbury in Arizona in skinny jeans!!  See below for a profile of a hipster:

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  • *Will someone tell me when the NBA playoffs start?  Usually around the 4tb of July!  Just sayin!


MLB


Cardinals:  Hovering around 3 games over .500!!  My hopes have been dashed so I am officially looking for the Anthlon College Football magazines!!


Dodgers:  The AAA Dodger team in OKC could make the MLB playoffs!  Sickening, the rich get richer, and the Cardinals get suckier!  


Astros:  No need to cheat, the Stros are good!! 


Royals:  As the Royals win so does the Barbeque in KC!  More wins, more fans, and more mouths to eat the world-famous KC barbecue!


Rangers:   Looks like the Rangers will once again be the Astros biiiotch in 2022!


Have a great sports week!!


Bryan in Tulsa!!




by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org




B, in T

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Wednesday, May 11, 2022

PGA is almost HERE!! Go Tulsa!

Bryan in Tulsa


Bobblehead Family 

Sports:

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Kids Can Get in Free at the PGA Championship!!  Free!!  Face painting, Jupiter jumps bouncy things, miniature horsey rides, and more fun for the kids while mom and dad watch the PGA at Southern Hills!!  This idea of opening up a small amusement park at the Masters similar to S.H.  in Tulsa is brilliant!!  The 2023 PGA Championship may have a dog park!!  


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Day 9 of Lance Guarding the PGA Trophy:

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Wife Keli put her foot down when Lance asked to put the Trophy in their bed after having a horrible dream!!  The PGA Championship trophy should never preclude your marriage!!  Wait.........how much is it worth?  Jk


B in T notes:


Tulsa Should be Very Proud of BTW’s Tyler Lockett

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Tyler Lockett leads the NFL with 10.6K total yards since 2015!

He was drafted 69th overall to the Seahawks in 2015.  Talent is everywhere in the draft and although the 2022 draft was average at best there will be a Tyler Locket hiding in the late rounds or free agencies!!  Tyler is from Tulsa, and attended Booker T. Washington High School, where he graduated in 2010. During the 2021-2022 season, Tyler created custom cleats for each NFL game this season to highlight parts of his hometown that were special to him, including QuikTrip cleats, which were featured in his prime-time Thursday night game against the Los Angeles Rams last year!!


TU Lineman is Amazing!

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Chris Paul was just drafted by the

Commanders!!!  Paul played right tackle, left guard, and right guard and in high school, he was a team captain and school president at Jersey Village High School!!  Paul excelled academically and graduated with a degree in computer information systems and is currently working on his master’s degree!!  He received high marks from NFL teams for leadership and character and consistently graded out at 91% or higher!!  He is a talented musician - singer and after listening to his music on a TU podcast, Chris  should replace some of the older Earth Wind and Fire singers!!


B in T Worst Tailgates in College Football:

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  1. Boston College

The fans are just as likely to be sporting a mix of Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots gear as the Eagles’ Maroon and Gold!  There is little knowledge or excitement among the student body and alumni, with few Eagles jerseys visible other than Doug Flutie or Matt Ryan. The stadium lots are tiny, extremely expensive!!


  1. Duke

The Blue Devils have several restrictions regarding tailgating which reek of prison restrictions!!

Haha JK!  But close!


  1. Notre Dame

Between patrolling campus police an elitist alumni, the no-fun police are out in force!  When Tulsa fans became loud at a ND tailgate party, the South Bend Police SWAT team surrounded the blue hair Golden Hurricane group and then confiscated their beers and bong pipes!!  No fun again!!  No arrest were made but 


  1. West Virginia

Nobody parties harder and better than the Mountaineers but the chances are extremely high that your truck will be stolen while watching the game!!


  1. Wisconsin

They fricking administer a breathalyzer test before allowing stadium access!!  The Badgers should be ranked higher!


  1. Tulsa

Smack dab in da middle of the Bible Belt folks!  I have tailgated in 10 different areas around Chapman Stadium over the last 50 years and have never been offered a joint!?!? Just kidding!!  I have been offered Special Brownies!!  Should be higher!


B in T Tidbits:

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  • When I coached kids softball my daughters wore bows, ribbons and pink unis!!  Those were the days!!  The 45-1 Oklahoma Sooner softball team with 35 run rule games wear no pink and eat red meat not kale for dinner!!  Possibly the best softball in history!!  Just take the entire Sooner girls to the Summer Olympics in Paris in 2024!!  

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  • The 3 Amigos will end their careers with World Series Championships in 2022!!

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  • Harry Carray’s great-grandsons are identical twin brothers who are announcers for the Double-A Amarillo Sod Farmers!!  Chris and Stephan Carray are 22 years old and when broadcasting in Tulsa are seen at the Buccaneer Bar and Elgin Park Bar and Grill!!

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  • ORU basketball stud, Max Ambas, really should stay another year for Grad school!

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  • PGA Championship Numbers 2022:  It's the largest month for tourism in the history of Tulsa,” said Ashleigh Bachert, Tulsa Regional Tourism interim senior VP. “We have rates ranging anywhere from $250 for a very lower end limited service all the way up to $1,200 for a higher end, full service property.”
  • Bachert says the one of the best indicators besides tax revenue brought in is bedroom stays per year. In 2020, Tulsa booked just 90,000 rooms because of the pandemic compared to this year, when stays for the PGA alone will nearly eclipse that, with 218,000 room nights already booked for 2022. The legacy and the long term impact that hopefully we have, and you talk about economic impact that can be measured in terms of tax revenue and things that, happen throughout the course of the week, and obviously the months leading up,” said PGA Championship Director Bryan Karns!!. “But it's really that long term establishment of Tulsa and the viability to host big events!  If you want a restaurant reservation, Bachert says that week may be better served at the drive through for us Tulsans.  “We can't find reservations, so my house may be hosting some evening events here shortly,” said Bachert.


MLB


Cardinals - 18 - 13 - Juan Yepez has replaced all the 6 of the DHs that have been used so far for the Birdies!!   This 23-year-old rookie has a nice bat and can play RF and 1B!  Batting .500 after 5 games with a .780 slugging average!!  Paul Dejong is batting .134 and that is after a 2 game hitting streak!!  Memphis AAA stud Gorman hits a home run every time he farts!!  Thirteen singers so far and why is he not batting fifth for the Birdies is beyond my realm of thinking!!  If confused about a Gorman call up to St. Louis write to Paul Mozeliak at PO Box 3, RR 1, Grey Summitt, Mo. 74115!!


Cubs - 11 - 16 - the little Cubby bears played the Dodgers 5 times and lost all 5 games by a combined 28 to 8 score!!  The good news is that they play the Dodgers 0 times the rest of the year and they are ahead of the Cincinnati Reds by 10 games for last place in the NL central!!


Rangers - 11- 17 - again I am claiming the best way to go to sleep is to put on headphones (1993 Radio Shack) then tune in to Eric Nadel and relax!!   The Rangers are playing much better and their sticks are picking up!!  Adolis Garcia continues to hit and Cory Seager could be an all-star on a winning team!


Royals - 10-17 -  the Royals are having George Brett Bobblehead Day on May 28th, and the first 10k fans will get bobbleheads!!  Hopefully, their attendance will even be 10k!!


Astros - 19-12 - Mighty Mite Jose Altuve stands 5’4” and can hit a ball 450ft!!  Might check that bat ump, just sayin!


Have a great sports week!


B in T 





B, in T

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