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Thursday, November 18, 2021

OU ‘s Lincoln Log to LSU?

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobblehead Sports:

Kids can be competitive EVEN when putting up Papa and Mimi B in T Xmas Snow Village Houses!

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Last week the two oldest grandkids came over to assist Mimi and Papa to decorate their 36-year decoration tradition of the Snow Village!!  Gus and Ana are brother and sister and very highly competitive!!  (Andre TU golfer and Maddie is just like her dad - laid back and non-competitive 😃😁 While lovingly putting together the snow set the kids occasionally have some controversy!!  The grandkids  can disagree  about having a barn in the middle of downtown, or possibly a tantrum over who will put the Village cars on the correct Village roads!  After a few hours of hard work, the Village lights come on and all is warm and Christmassy!!  I love the family Christmas tradition with the Rugrats!!


B in T notes:


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College Coaching Rumor Carousel:


Nebraska:  Scott Frost is sticking around for 2022, but you can say signora to his offensive staff which has been truly offensive this year!!


Texas Tech:  Joey McGuire will be the next head coach at Texas Tech, my sources were told by his agent, Jerry Maguire!!


Florida:  Dan Mullen will be making numerous staff changes!  Dan must release the guillotine on his own staff before his head rolls!!  The basis of corporate America!!


TCU - possible candidates include Sonny Dykes just a hop skip and a jump away at SMU, Dione Sanders, and Matt Campbell who's name was discussed after the Board of Regents took a giant bong hit at happy hour in Fort Worth!!


Oklahoma - one week ago coach Lincoln Riley was missing from his noon media podcast and from his night call-in show at Rudy's!!  Sooner Play by play legend Toby Rowland was so upset he almost cussed!!  Lincoln simply had an ingrown toenail removed!! 


LSU - Ed Orgeron AKA dead coach walking is accepting the Nathan Hale job at the end of the season!!  

  1. Lane Kiffin - Ole Miss - he can go to   LSU and assume coach Ed’s Weight Watcher contract!!
  2. Jimbo Fisher - Texas A&M - his 30 million dollar buyout is pocket change for LSU!!
  3. James Franklin - Penn State - he has been rumored for every vacant position including the Las Vegas Raiders!!


USC -  Luke Fickell - Cincinnati.  $$ If wife Amy and the 6 kiddos love SoCal, bye-bye Bearcats!$$


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Great research by Kelly Hines top Sportswriter at Tulsa World:


To put in perspective the job Joseph Gillespie (and the late Bill Young) has done in turning around the Tulsa Defense:


In 2017, TU allowed 56 offensive TD (4.7/game). Gave up 7+ in a game 3 times.


In the last 22 games, TU’s D has allowed more than 4 TD in a game only once.


MICROPHONE DROP NOW!!


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Things Heard at a Famous Sports Family Thanksgiving 🍗 Table?


Stoops Family -  ‘which one of us will get the USC job?’


Gundy Family -  ‘ok Gundy men, before we start watching some football, let's discuss men's hair product’


B in T Family - ‘Will someone please pull Papa B in T’s finger so he will quit asking me!!’


Tom Brady Family - ‘Where are the mirrors?’


Kardashian's Family (not a sports family but they date numerous athletes so close enough) -  “There’s a lot of baggage that comes with us, but it’s like Louis Vuitton baggage; you always want it, and pass me a turkey 🍗 leg bitches!!’

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Manning Family - “Arch (top 2022 high school QB in the nation and grandson of Hall of Famer Archie Manning) which one of your uncles or dad or grandpa influenced you the most in you life, he responded none of them, my mom did by far!!!!”   Mom’s pie 🥧tasted really good this Thanksgiving 🦃 🦃🦃🦃!!


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$540 Million Lost Coaching Salaries!!


In the 2021 College Football Season coaches are paid half a billion dollars NOT to coach at one school while making another half-billion to get paid for an actual real-life job!!  


Small sample size:

Gus Malazan - 10 million - Auburn

Les Miles - 8 million to 4 different teams

Bret Bielema - 3 million Arkansas


SICK WASTE OF STATE MONEY!!!


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Way too EARLY B in T area college basketball projections:


Oklahoma Sooners - New coach Porter Moser - He is 52 years old and looks and acts 32!!  Just signed two 2022 ESPN top 100 players, for the first time ever!!

NCAA tournament - first round


Oklahoma State Cowboys - Coach Boynton is possibly the coolest, and classiest coach of the 350 collegiate coaches!!  Stud transfer Bryce Thompson will add depth and could be a deadly 6th man!!  Cowboys got jacked up by the NCAA Gestapo, so no postseason play this year!!  21-10 record and 4th place in the Big 12!


Tulsa Golden Hurricane- Coach Haith feels strongly that this may be his most talented and deep team in years!!  

NCAA Tourney - second round


ORU - love this team, their arena is blocks from my home, the Abmas kid is a junior Steve Curry, and their coach never yells!!  Should win the conference tourney again with too much quick for the rest of the league!!

NCAA tourney - second round


Arkansas - super team, super coach and will make the Elite Eight!


Kansas - super team, super coach and will win the Big 12 Tournament............

Thirty minutes later the NCAA Gestapo bans the team from the NCAA tournament for 2 years!!  


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B in T Perfect College Picks:


Cincinnati 38 SMU 31

The Bearcats are shooting for the Final Four of College Football!!  The giant TU offensive linemen trouncing immediately had the Bearcat defensive linemen on 8 protein shakes a day!!


Oklahoma 35 Iowa State 34

Iowa State QB Purdy starts throwing interceptions when his team gets a lead!!  When Oklahoma's defense gets an interception the entire team puts on a vaudeville act like they won a lottery!!  So, follow me, if Oklahoma gets an interception in the second half the world will stops but OU wins!!  If the Sooners do not intercept a pass from Purdy in the game the above score is reversed!!  Nice out for the Clones, Kevin?  Right?


Alabama 45 Arkansas 30

Arkansas QB KJ Jefferson is my frontrunner for the 2022 Heisman Trophy!!  The Crimson Tide did not agree with my prognostication!!  I am also picking Myles Slusher for third in the preseason Heisman poll!!  No bias, I swear!!  Go Hogs!!


Ohio State 28 Michigan State 24

A couple of B in T’s dedicated readers are huge Buckeye fans who are thankful to us TU football folks for letting us be their football non-conference appetizer before the Big 10 schedule!!  Ohio State QB Young can wing that football, once he tossed a rugby ball 70 yards while holding a baby in the other arm!!  True story - check out My Space!!


Oklahoma State 31 at Texas Tech 17

The Oklahoma State defense has been compared to the Pitsburg Steelers Iron Curtain!!  The blue caller dudes eat nails, drive fast cars, use bubblegum chewing tobacco and eat raw meat 3 times daily!  Tech hired Baylor’s associate head coach Joey Maguire, no relation to Toby, Jerry or Mark Maguire! 


Tulsa 34 Temple 21

This week is the final TU home game and even worse the final TU Tailgators tailgate party!  So sad!!  After trying for a few days the brass at the university would not allow mud wrestling competitions with the sorority ladies at our tailgate party!! The food theme for the last TU Tailgator was beans so this time we are stepping up a notch with fried jalapeno poppers flown in from Warez, Mexico!  Tulsa was a double-digit favorite but played down to it's competition to a three-point victory!!  Tulsa QB Brin Davis threw for 3 touchdowns and 3 interceptions but made two game-saving tackles on interception returns!!  Davis leads the FBS in interception return tackles this year!!  


Iowa 37 Illinois 20  

The Iowa football team has tossed the Illini around like a mama bear tosses around a cub!!  Coach Bielema’s hard-nosed approach still needs some hard-nosed players which Bielema CAN recruit!!  The Iowa coach knows that he can shoot a rifle in the air anywhere in Iowa, and find a farmers son that's 6’5” and 285 lbs and eats bales of hay!!


Boston College 23  Florida State 21

BC is one win away from bowl eligibility and Florida State is one loss away from being ineligible from doing any bowling, except in a bowling league!!  First-year Florida State coach Norvell gets migraines weekly with the Seminole muckety muck regents calling his cell phone to bitch after losses!  On the other hand, Boston College coach Hafley will be drinking Mai tai drinks at a sunny bowl destination!!


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Second Round High School Playoffs:


6AI

Union 38 Broken Arrow 32

Newly redone Tuttle Stadium and newly renamed Union RedHawks caged the cagey Tigers with a 4th quarter rally!!


Jenks 36 Mustang 20

The Trojans offense has gradually improved throughout 2021!!  Mustang was in the game for the first 15 minutes but after that the Trojans were too much!!


6AII

Sand Springs 28 at Deer Creek 27

The Antlers missed a game-tying extra point with .332 of a second left on the Deer Creek clock!!  Tuff loss!!


Bixby 52 Stillwater 28

All 131 Bixby players immediately went to the Spartan weight room for one hour after the game!!  This was team self-imposed punishment for not scoring more than 70 points against Stillwater!!  Tough standards in the sod farm capital of the World team!! 


5A

Carl Albert 42 Coweta 31

The only team with as many athletes as Booker T is Carl Albert!!  The Coweta Tigers are strong but not Carl Albert strong!  


Pryor 28 Lawton Mac 22

Pryor has had a sneaky good season and surprises Macarthur!!


4A

Tuttle 31 Wagoner 27

Tuttle is very strong in the big boy lineman trenches and the game-winning drive proved it!!


3A

Hermitage Hall 45 Berryhill 31

Hermitage Hall stays undefeated and pushes for the finals!!


Lincoln Christian 55 Sulphur 7 

Lincoln Christian is the unknown masked singer of 3A!!  Always winning!!


Holland Hall 48 Perkins-Tryon 13

THE Hall is dominant and sends Sulphur back home to fish and hunt!!


2A 

Victory Christian 36 Cascia Hall 28

Good timing as Victory gets hot at the end of the season!!


A

Tonkawa  41 Fairview 28

Tonkawa closed the downtown down to celebrate the win and to celebrate the giant Christmas tree brought back from the Payne County forest to the Who Village of my beloved Tonkawa!!


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NFL Picks:


Browns 35 Lions 24

The Browns discarded Odel Beckham and his attitude baggage.  Running back Chubb goes for 129 yards on 20 carries and 2 touchdown!!


Chiefs 28 Cowboys 24

Mahomes tosses for 289 yards and 3 touchdowns against the porous Cowgirl defense!!  Cowboy Owner Jones hires the United States Secretary of Defense as his new defensive coordinator!!


Ravens 28 at Bears 17

The Ravens have the Bear's number and continue to kick their bare Bear butts!!



Have a great sports week:


Bryan in Tulsa

 
by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org



B, in T

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Thursday, November 11, 2021

Future College Coaches Revealed!

Bryan in Tulsa


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM


Bobbleheads Sports:


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2021 National League Champs Braves bring kids to team meetings!!


During player, coaches, and wives meetings with the Braves, youngsters can come to the meetings as long as they are wearing headphones to block out cussing and another bad language during meetings that can be detrimental to the kids!!   The Braves want to develop a family atmosphere in the clubhouse!!  This year during Thanksgiving Day dinner B in T will hand out headphones for all the rugrats to wear while the wine 🍾 and the whiskey 🥃starts flowing with the so-called adults!!


B in T Notes:


Hideous Classless Coaching Changes for St.Louis Redbirds, Texas Tech Red Raiders and Texas Christian Horny Frogs!!


In today's sports scene the ownership or board of Regents can fire 🔥 a manager or coach, simply for not liking their hairstyle!  My baseball Cardinals fired Coach Schlitz cuz he was not a disciple of Moneyball!!  The Texas Tech Red Raiders fired my former TU, nicest coach ever, Matt Wells for going 5-3 this year!!  And finally, Gary Patterson, who created winning football and helped TCU move out of the WAC and into the Big 12 and coached over 20 years in Fort Worth was fired at lunch last Tuesday!!  All three will have numerous job offers to coach at other teams/schools!!


To Those Who Hate:


To Dallas Cowboy Haters:

Tis time to hate Santa Clause next huh?


To Branson Christmas Commercial Haters:

Where do I join?


To B in T Haters:

Stand in line!


To St. Louis Cardinal Haters:

Our new 35-year-old yuppy-metrosexual manager is smart too!!


To Tulsa Football Haters:

I bet you hate the Easter Bunny too!


To handing out candy on Halloween haters:

In some counties in Arkansas and Oklahoma, it is against the law to NOT hand out candy!!  In Tonkawa, Oklahoma if you are caught not chunking out candy you will be Purged!  True shat!!


To Pumpkin Man Haters:

Stand in line!  Plus he is not real!!


To OU Haters:

How can you hate ‘College Football Greatness!!!!’


Top 10 New Age College Football Coaches:


  1. Peyton Manning - QB - Tennessee - Lots of football knowledge in that giant chrome dome head!
  2. Tim Tebow - QB - Florida - tried playing football and baseball, next coaching?!
  3. Josh McKown - QB - Sam Houston State - he has played QB for 9 different NFL teams!  
  4. Donta Hightower - LB Alabama - playing for years under Bill Belichick, Hightower can play multiple defenses in his sleep!!  Great coach from the D side of the ball!!
  5. Jason Witten - TE - Tennessee - not a broadcaster, recently retired and a Dallas Cowboy future Hall of Famer, and has a great mind for football!
  6. Tom Brady - QB - Michigan -  first G.O.A.T. Coach ever!!  He and Giselle fart out gold bricks!!  Another Belichick disciple!!
  7. Jalen Hurts - QB - Alabama/Oklahoma - Lincoln Riley, Dick Saban - enough said!!  Also has a stoic, no-smile coach's demeanor built in his genes!
  8. Ray Lewis - LB - Miami -  he can clear a bar faster than any bouncer!  His pregame speech will have players going through lockers and walls!
  9. Any child of Dabo Swinney or Brent Venables - Clemson - duh!
  10. Antonio Graham - LB - Pitt State - once hit an Emporia State player so hard he swallowed his mouthpiece, which - he - you ask? --  both.  He is on numerous shortlists for Division II gigs but is holding out for an SEC job!  He is a very confident young man and a B in T subscriber!!



College Football Picks:


Oklahoma 45 at Baylor 42

Saturday night ABC game with several Baylor greats on the sidelines!!  Names such as Chip and Jo Ann Gaines, Robert Griffin III, David Koresh family, David Bliss former basketball coach, Art Briles, and Matt Ruhle were on the sidelines for this huge game!!  The Sooners playboy kicker Gabe Brcack kick a 58-yard field goal as time ran out!!  He was immediately signed to a 3 year NIL with Magnolia Inc. - Chip and Joanne Gaines's billion-dollar company!!


Tulsa 31 at Tulane 28

The next time we take the TU 65 and over Happy Timers Hurricane Club on a trip to anywhere close to Bourbon Street we need to ask ourselves 5 questions:


  1. WTFrick do we do this shat?
  2. Do we have bail bondsmen lined up?
  3. Have we done any Overview of Senior discounts on Bourbon Street? 
  4. Number of barf bags to take?!
  5. Copies of the movie ‘Hangover’!?


Georgia 38 at Tennessee 34

Georgia is scary good!!  Vegas has them as 3 point favorites over the New York Jets!!  Tennessee and Coach Josh Heupel are taking over Knoxville by storm!!  His run and chuck the ball 🏈 offense is a breath of fresh air in the SEC!!  Just wait till football offense God Lincoln Riley enters the WAC........I mean SEC!!!


Iowa 32 Minnesota 27

Iowa at one time was number 2 in the AP poll and after 2 losses reality has settled into Hawkeye nation!!  To tell my 2 Hawkeye readers ‘I told ya so’ would be cruel and usual punishment!!


Texas A&M 38 at Ole Miss 37

Tony the Land shark mascot for Ole Miss was bit on the fake fin by Revillie the Collie!!  Lawsuits were immediately filed!!  Shark Heads rolled!!


Virginia 24 Notre Dame 17

The Irish are shooting for the Wolf Brand Chili with Beans Bowl in Tulsa, Oklahoma!!  Co-sponsored by Emmitt Hahn and Wolfe Brand Chili!!


Arkansas 31 at LSU 21

Arkansas had a farewell party for coach Orgeron and all his girlfriends he invited to practices this year!!  


Iowa State 38 at Texas Tech 28

The Clones equipment team won the Big 12 award for the fastest time for loading football equipment with a time of 43 minutes and 49 seconds!!  Kyle Highland, team leader, said that his squad squats more than half the Big 12 teams!!  This includes 2 female equipment managers!!  True shat!!  Google it!!


Oklahoma State 42 TCU 27

The wittle horny frogs were subdued by the Cowboys in a closer score than indicated!!  State was ahead of the Christians 28 to zip at halftime!!  After a less than motivating halftime speech from Coach Boring the troops were outscored by 3 touchdowns in the second half!!  Piiisttoools Fiiirriiing!!


High School First Round Playoff Picks:


6AI


Jenks 38 Norman North 20

The Trojans do not have the firepower of past teams but youth in the backfield has them still looking strong!!  Three touchdowns in five minutes in the third quarter put Norman North cheerleaders on the warm bus before the final gun!!


Owasso 34 at Broken Arrow 20

The Rams spent the night after the game at the Broken Arrow Hollidome!  If the Rams win the coaches promised the players a movie on the Playboy channel!!  If they lost they were stuck with Pixar all night!  Of course the Owasso boys won!!  The Broken Arrow Holidome pool was loaded with football players and coaches!!  The coaches had a cannonball contest and almost emptied the pool!!  Owosso head coach dad Blankenship came down at 1 am and said this shat has to end, he then said a prayer and sent the boys to their rooms with a warm glass of milk!!  I shat you not!!


Union 41 Yukon 17

Union devoured the Millers Friday night!  The name of the Yukon Millers was supposedly given to the team from having miller 🐛 bugs in flour!!  I have done exclusive research and discovered this was a Yukon urban legend!  The real story reported Millers are named after a giant still in South Yukon the makes 50 kegs of Miller Light daily!  Google it!!


6AII


Bixby 62 Putman North 7

The Bixby boys are so focused they would hang 60 points on their own moms!


BTW 38 at Stillwater 31 

Oklahoma Coach Gundy and Oklahoma State Coach Gundy were at the game recruiting!!  The two brothers were overheard discussing who has a larger turkey 🦃 from the Mounds Turkey shoot!!  They agreed that both turkeys should be stuffed and eaten!!


5A


Pryor 28 Bishop Kelley 17

The Pryor Tigers have labeled their defense as badasses!!  BK has offered no defense for their poor defense!!


Coweta 31 Tahlequah 15

The team whose mascot is a tiger should win this game!  Coweta had the size to put the Tahlequah Tigers away!!


4A


Cushing 41 Elk City 13

Elk City is famous for having discovered the first Elk Mule in Oklahoma on July 15, 1887!!  Has anyone here in the Tulsa area ever been to Elk City?  Big Foot and  Big Elk (their mascot) roam in the Sasquatch Hills!!  This gargantuan Elk has been reported up to 7ft tall from hoof to shoulder with another five feet of head and antler!!  

B in T Nephew Caleb registered 14 tackles, a pick-six, and a NIL deal with Billy Bobs Barber to cut his curly locs off if they play in the state Championship!!


Wagoner 28 Hilldale 12

The Wagoner Paw prints were redirected to the local Wagoner Sonic instead of the Odom Football Stadium!!  Hilldale folks were immediately given free mocha shakes for their unplanned trip to the Wagoner Sonic!!  The Wagoner Senior class has claimed responsibility!!  The investigation has not ruled out local skinheads or the Taliban!  True shat!!


3A


Heritage Hall 47 Pauls Valley 6

The Cascia of the west dominates the OKC public schools!!


Lincoln Christian 56 Vinita 7

The Lincoln Christian Bulldogs dominated the Vinita Mud Hornets while Bulldog moms started black Friday shopping early on their Amazon free delivery accounts!!


Holland Hall 46 Checotah 13

Holland Hall ramrods Checotah Shakakans!


2A


Cascia Hall 34 Hugo 20

The Hall finishes the season strong and keeps the lights 💡 on in the weight lifting gym for infinity!!


Metro Christian 21 at Sperry 20

Metro upsets Sperry and sends the hunters out early to shoot Bambi!!


Mom O Meter    Sperry Moms .981 Metro Moms .968   The Metro moms were dealt a blow to their Deer Bow and Arrow team leader, Bev Schnikenberger inadvertently shot part of her ear off two days earlier!!!!  Google it; I always tell the truth!!


Diner of the week Sperry!!

Sunny’s Old Country

Highway 11, Sperry

The best biscuits and gravy in Green Country!!  Folks from Sperry have stated that on Saturday morning after a Sperry home game the lines to get in Sunny’s wrap around the building!!  ‘When u see the town Mayor from Skiatook in line you know the B and G at Sunny’s is big-time!’


A


Tonkawa 45 Wayne 7

The town of Wayne was named after Vegas star Wayne Newton!  Young Wayne’s father built the first underground 🎱 pool hall in 1907 in Wayne, Oklahoma!!  Money flowed illegally through betting and then came moonshine!!  The Newton family moved to Las Vegas and the rest is history!


NFL Perfect Pro Picks:


Cowboys 35 Falcons 13

Dallas played all second-teamers and taxi squad players in this so-called game!!  Back up QB Cooper Rush who's name alone demands respect, threw for 289 yards, and 3 touchdowns in the first half!!  Owner Jerry Jones declared his team playoff bound between Jaeger shots out of his drool cup!!


Browns 27 at Patriots 24

Browns running back Nick Chubb ran over three Falcon defensive backs and a Line Judge referee en route to a 34-yard touchdown run in the 4th quarter!!  Baker Mayfield credited his teammates and his Progressive Insurance Commercials for the victory!!


Raiders 31 Chiefs 21

The Raider Nation fans like to dress up like the bad dudes on Mad Max movies with Mel Gibson!!  Some of these maniacs are so scary that K.C. QB Mahomes wanted a penalty flag thrown against the 6’10” dude with leather pants and a silver and black mohawk!


Cardinals 34 Panthers 24

The Cards Kyler Murray did the impossible against the Carolina Panthers!!  He threw a pass behind the line of scrimmage, a Panther lineman knocked the pass in the air, Murray caught the ball and ran 58 yards for a touchdown!!  Only Kyler Murray can do this!!  He later played a 2-hour chess match against guess who......himself!!


Have a great sports week!


FAKEDOUTSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM by B in T - FakedOutSports, synSoonerPolitics.org



B, in T

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