FOS Notes:Faked Out Sports / B in T
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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Bryan in Tulsa Top Resolutions for 2021 other than getting
Coronavirus 2020 the hell outta here!!
- Lose Pandemic weight plus 20 more!
- Cut back on Netflix
- Never take toilet paper for granted!
- Never ever bitch about wearing a mask, remember, ‘ wear a mask and save someone's ass’!
- Never take hugs for granted!
- Cut back on brownies!
- Eat more fruit, vegetables, and bugs 🐝!!
- Piss Jami off less!
- Clean the toilet more efficiently!
- No farting under the covers!
- No cussing in front of grandkids!
- No cussing at grandkids!
- No blaming grandkids or dogs for papa farts!
- Never bitch about TU football again!! They are good!!
- Never leave my dirty dishes on the kitchen counter!!
- Never leave dirty underwear ANYWHERE!
- Discover my waistline! I have not seen it for a few years!!
- Improve Faked Out Sports 🏈 so my readership is over 25!!
Ex-Tulsa QB Making Noise as Hawaii Offensive Coordinator
A paper from Monroe, Louisiana listed an interesting young assistant at Hawaii as a possible candidate for the Louisiana position if Bill Napier leaves for greener pastures!! The Louisianan listed the following:
G.J. Kinne
Current/last job: Offensive coordinator/quarterbacks coach, Hawaii 2020-present
Background: Offensive special projects, Philadelphia Eagles 2019; Offensive analyst, Arkansas 2018; graduate assistant, SMU 2017.
Profile: A record-setting quarterback at Tulsa, Kinne began his coaching career as a graduate assistant to Chad Morris at SMU in 2017. He followed Morris to Arkansas in 2018 as an offensive analyst, then worked on former ULM quarterback Doug Pederson’s staff in offensive special projects with the Philadelphia Eagles in 2019. Kinne’s overall coaching experience is limited four years. He’s only been an on-field coach for one season, though Hawaii coach Todd Graham has a track record for grooming assistants. Kinne is the cousin of former ULM quarterback Colby Suits.
I Will Take a Shot!
I have been told they are passing out free shots all over America!! I prefer all types of shots except Jaeger where it must be frozen when served!!
FOS Bowl Game Picks:
December 30th
Iowa vs. Missouri
Nissan Stadium (Nashville, Tennessee)
TransPerfect Music City Bowl
Iowa vs. Missouri
Nissan Stadium (Nashville, Tennessee)
Missouri 38 Iowa 28
The Hawkeyes and their boring offense eventually ran out of surprise tight end formations and were defeated by the Tigers!!
Player Gifts: Tickets to the Little Opry performance of Willie Nelson and the Branson Ballnobbers!! Coupons for any microwave oven made by Kenmore in the only remaining Sears store in Nashville!! Pandemic times thus we save our dimes!
Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic
Oklahoma vs. Florida
AT&T Stadium (Arlington, Texas)
Oklahoma 48 Florida 42
The Sooners are back in Jerry’s World also known as Jerry’s Playhouse which sounds very strange!! Oklahoma's QB Rattler and Florida's QB Taske are destined to a fight at OK Corral!! Rattler makes the last bullet slash pass count to freshman Marvin Mims for 52 yards and a touchdown with 38 seconds left!! The Cotton Bowl officials would not let the Sooner Schooner on the field due to no Coronavirus masks for the horses!! The Rufneks tried to use feedbags as masks but were immediately stopped and sent back to the AT&T barn!!Player Gifts- Monogrammed Playstation 5 with each players number and initials on the game console!! Sleepover equipment from Jerry Jones for the winning team!!
Dec. 31
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl
Tulsa vs. Mississippi State
Amon G. Carter Stadium (Fort Worth, Texas)
Tulsa 31 Mississippi State 28
Bulldog coach Mike Leach and his warped stories about aliens only offsets Tulsa coach Montgomery’s business is business approach to press conferences!! The Tulsa defense held the vaunted Mississippi offense to 7 points in the second half and rallied from a 21-7 halftime deficit to a victory in the Arm Forces Bowl!! A cardboard replica of All-world Zaven Collins made 4 tackles and an interception although he opted out! Immediately after the game Superstar cardboard Zaven Collins was surrounded by security guards protection as 40 to 50 agents tried to get cardboard Mr. Collins to sign up with their agency!!Player Gifts: Replica Huffy 10 speed bike in team colors, Vizio 60 inch plasma TV in team colors, and a baby iguana in team colors!!
AutoZone Liberty Bowl
West Virginia vs. Army
West Virginia 28 Army 27
Army, a real football team, at 9-2 replaced Tennessee, a fake football team, at 2-8!!
Bowl Gifts: Lifetime membership to the AutoZone Sparkplug Club, I Phone Watch in camouflage, and on Elvis Pressley blow up doll!!
Arkansas vs. TCU
NRG Stadium (Houston)
Arkansas 38 TCU 35
Arkansas can play with the big boys and proved it with a 47-yard field goal as time ran out in the NRG Stadium!! Horny Froggies coach Patterson has a hit song called ’Take a Step Back’ which reportedly has the coach as an emcee of the CMA Awards!!
Bowl Gifts: Apple Robot with a 175 IQ, Autographed CD copy ’Take a Step Back’ by coach Patterson!
Jan. 1
Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
Cincinnati vs. Georgia
Mercedes-Benz Stadium (Atlanta)
Cincinnati 34 Georgia 32
The Bearcats from the so-called minor leagues of college football defeated the Bulldogs of Georgia and showed a nonpower 5 school can defeat a big boy college team!! Cincinnati coach Fickel may stay another year and turn down a few power 5 offers to stay with the new Power 6!!
Gucci, Chick-fil-A Gift Card worth $200, and special edible cannabis Christmas fruit 🍓 cake!!
Vrbo Citrus Bowl
Auburn vs. Northwestern
Camping World Stadium (Orlando, Florida)Northwestern 31 Auburn 28
No one wants the Auburn coaching job since certain coaches must stay on the staff according
to Athletic Director Allen Greene! Most new coaches may keep one or two but NOT a half dozen!! Looks like Art Briles is back to the top of the list!!
Bowl Gifts: Pandemic Vrbo vacation for two in a Marriott within 20 miles of your home for one night and complimentary breakfast for two, and a Micky Mouse pandemic mask with two-ply insulation and cinnamon air freshener built-in!!
***Semi-Finals Championship Series****
College Football Playoff Semifinal at The Rose Bowl Game Presented by Capital One
No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Notre Dame
AT&T Stadium (Arlington, Texas)
Alabama 45 Notre Dame 42
Coach Saban and the Tide had to hang on for their football life as the Irish 🍀 almost made a huge comeback to defeat the Bama football machine!! Irish QB Ian Book played Superman in the fourth quarter by throwing for 3 touchdowns and 175 yards to mount the close but no cigar comeback!!
Bowl Gifts: 75 inch Sony TV built for large SUVs, and Roses from the Rose Bowl Parade canceled due to the pandemic move out of Pasedina!!
College Football Playoff Semifinal at the Allstate Sugar Bowl
No. 2 Clemson vs. No. 3 Ohio State
Mercedes-Benz Superdome (New Orleans)
Clemson 42 Ohio State 34
All four of these teams in the final four are becoming very boring to write about so WILL
Bowl Gifts: One year of free-agent services by a long time player rep firm Dewey Cheatem and Howe!!
Jan. 2
PlayStation Fiesta Bowl
Oregon vs. Iowa State
State Farm Stadium (Glendale, Arizona)
Iowa State 43 Oregon 27The Oregon Nikes have more Nike crap than Michael Jordan’s children!! Clone quarterback Purdy looked Heisman 2021ish against the Oregon defense that can't stop air!! A special note to the Iowa State equipment team that won 🏆 the Waterboy Award for top college equipment team 2020!
Bowl Gifts: Collector item Nike Green PlayStation with a swoosh- value $2,000
Capital One Orange Bowl
Texas A&M vs. North Carolina
Hard Rock Stadium (Miami Gardens, Florida)
Texas A&M 45 North Carolina 42
The Aggies have 6-year veteran QB Mond who has opted, thanks to Coronavirus extra year, to return for the 7th year and states he WILL graduate this year!!
Bowl Gifts: Under Armor Scuba Gear with shark cage included!!
FOS College Basketball Picks:
Texas Tech 82 Oklahoma State 73
Texas Tech coach Chris Beard seems to be doing a lot of sweating on the bench this year!! Tech is a top 15 program and coach Beard is stressed about the pandemic dos and don’ts!! Red Raider D puts clamps on Cowboy superstar Cade Cunningham to the tune of 11 points on 4 for 15 shooting!!
Oral Roberts 71 at Omaha 61
ORU may be a tough and will challenge the Dakotas who have the Summit finals in their own high school gym!! Very unfair for the Golden Eagles!
Kansas 81 Texas 76
Kansas just keeps winning with Self coaching and his Nike shoe contacts and contracts!!
Missouri 72 at Arkansas 69
The Razorbacks finally played a nondirectional school in continental America!! Thus a loss!!
Tulsa 68 at Cinncinati 61
Tulsa received some vengeance for the homer AAC Championship given to the Bearcata in football!!
Oklahoma 81 West Virginia 77
West Virginia plays the high-low offense with two 6’9” 250 pound tight ends from the football team!! OU has a pesky Brady Manec and a huge wing spanned Kur Kuath who fouled these two into submission!!
FOS NFL Picks:
Browns 31 Steelers 21
The Browns bring in the New Year with a win over the ’we peaked too soon’ Steelers!!
Chiefs 38 Chargers 24
The Chiefs used reserve players in the second half and still demolished the Chargers! Charger rookie LB Kenneth Murray from Oklahoma had 12 tackles and is the favorite for defensive rookie of the year!!
Cowboys 24 Giants 21
Good win for the Cowboys, but they get to stay home when the playoffs commence!!
Packers 34 at Bears 28
The Bear lost to their arch-rival Packer but sealed up the last playoff spot!!
Faked Out Sports/ Bryan in Tulsa
Have a great sports week!
B, in T |