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Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Texas Coach Next Midland, Texas Football Coach


October 31


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!  REMEMBER, THE FREAKS DO COME


OUT AT NIGHT...........AND IN THE MORNING!   B IN T


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Faked Out Sports / B in T

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FOS Notes:


The best holiday in my opinion is HALLOWEEN!!  On Halloween, kids find a pumpkin patch and wait for the Great Pumpkin to arise from the most sincere pumpkin and hand out candy!!!  OMG, WAIT THAT IS THE WRONG STORY! Pumpkin Man will appear at some high school game and spread love, cheer and edibles to those who truly believe in the PUMPKIN MAN!!

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  • B in T prediction: Tulsa’s Zaven Collins has almost as many tackles in 2020 than breakups with TU girls!!  Around TU’s great campus students are saying they have seen Zaven walk on water??  Seriously, B in T thinks Zaven will be a doctor soon and cure a disease!  Double seriously, Mr. Collins is the best linebacker in America!
  • Here are a few questions at the Lincoln Riley Show that were not read on the air:  1)  Are you giving the team orange slices??  2)  Coach are you going to the Houston Texans and can we help you get there??  3)  Coach Riley have you or any of the players seen the mysterious Pumpkin Man??  4)  Is the defensive coordinator still with the team?  5)  Can we hire Clemson’s Venables??  His salary would look like this:  1 Million per year from OU and 1 million per year from you coach Riley!
  • Texas Coach Tom Herman has a 20 million dollars buy out and the Longhorn Boosters
    including Mathew MaCrotchany (ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT) have a buy out cashiers check for 20 million dollars in Mathew’s Wrangler jeans back pocket!!
  • I Have just watched a FOX 23 interview with a mom that will hand out Vegan candy!!  WTF.....are there that many tricks or treaters in Tulsa who want Vegan Milk Duds??  I must call my friend ’Karen’ and ask her WTF is going on here!!??
  • B in T Coronavirus Coaching Crystal Ball:  - Urban Meyer to Texas;  Tom Herman to East Carolina; Adam Gase (from the Jets to Midland High School);  


FOS College Football Picks


Oklahoma State 42 Texas 32

Texas hoity-toity trustees are so far up Herman’s anus that they took away his resume creation button ◼️on his laptop!!  Pistol Pete tried to lasso Bevo, and one of his handlers punched Pete in his head and broke his hand!!  The handler broke HIS hand that is!  




Oklahoma 45 at Texas Tech 38

Looks like the Sooners are leaning towards the Pier 1 Chapter 11 Bowl which will be played at the Fargo High School stadium.  Sooner fans are ecstatic since they have never been to Fargo, North Dakota!!  Please get your OU Parkas at The Soonerville Shop for $279.99!  Spencer Rattler has grown up quite a bit and since losing games makes you stronger, so they say, he is very strong 💪!


Tulsa 42 East Carolina 13

The East Carolina Pirates and their 13 fans seemed annoyed that the TU student section was 

passing around a Fatty (Definition:  refers to a rolled marijuana cigarette or joint which is quite large as it contains a large amount of marijuana) and did not offer any to the Pirate fans!!  Our secret underground tailgate party by the TU Library was raided by the TU Security Cops!  A couple of the TU Happy Timers attempted to get away but were caught by mall cops on unicycles!!  We moved the tailgate party to the Cony Islander parking lot on 11th Street!!  Tulsa quarterback Zack Smith completed 23 of 30 passes for 4 TDs and 1 interception!!  


Texas A&M 38 Arkansas 31

A&M coach Jimbo Fisher insisted on having a 75% Coronavirus attended stadium!  ThePresident of Texas A&M agreed to the 75% maximum attendance but only 32% of the Aggie fans showed up!!  The A&M trustees were shocked and appalled by the low numbers!!  Aggie fans simply stated that it was simply easier and much safer to stay away from Coronavirus and we are much closer to the Margarita blender!!


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************UPSET SPECIAL**************

Penn State 36 Ohio Stae 35

Penn State QB Wil Levis was able to make his passes count in the battle with the Buckeyes!!  He was 14-19 and 3 touchdowns and 0 picks from the NFL bound Buckeye secondary!!


Cincinnati 51 Memphis 42

Both of these conference American Athletic teams can score but the question is can they stop Owasso Rams high school offense!?




Michigan 35 Michigan State 31

Rumor has it that the Michigan State mukkety mucks have the money to make an offer toMichigan coach Harbaugh!!  TMZ sources say that have the contract buyout money, a new 3 million dollar home in East Lansing, a 4 year 20 million dollar contract and a lifetime of Hager slacks all for Coach Harbaugh!!


Baylor 31 TCU 25

Baylor Bears quarterback Charlie Brewer is in his second year of grad school due to his long stay in Waco!!  He completed 24 for 30 passes 2 touchdowns and 0 interceptions, and announced he was going for his Doctorate while playing at Baylor!


Kansas State 42 at West Virginia 31

Kansas State has the number 1 defense in the Big 12!  So what, IKR!!  Any time you get out of Morgantown with a win and no communicable diseases it is a good weekend!!


Iowa State 55 at Kansas 24

Snow fell during the second half in Lawrence and caused Kansas Coach Miles to call time out for a quick cup of cappuccino from a student trainer!!  Kansas football still sucks but the countryside is mighty picturesque when snowfalls!!


Illinois 31 Purdue 21

The Illinois with coach Lovie Smith are playing to save Lovie’s job so they will not have to pay his 10 million dollar buyout!!


Auburn 42 LSU 31

I would have sworn that LSU won the National Championship last year, but this year they are chicken 💩poop compared to the rest of the SEC!!



FOS High School Picks:


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Will Pumpkin Man disappear after the 31st of October?  Which High School will see Pumpkin Man this week!


Booker T Washington 42 at Muskogee 16

Muskogee has speed but no size, BTW has both on their freshman squad alone!


Blackwell 35 at Alva 30


Blackwell was looking for it’s fourth win  for the first time since the invention of color TV!! On the trip back home the happy Maroon football team stopped just outside of Alva at a little town called Hooker!!  Hooker is known for its Halloween Hayrides and missing people!!  Four folks are still missing from the Hooker Halloween Hayride!!!  Just kidding!


Union 52 at Southmoore 21

Union needs to whip some folks to make up for the 0-4 start!!  I would not want to meet them in the playoffs!!


Jenks 55 at Edmond Memorial 28

The Jenks and Edmond areas are very similar areas with the only difference, Edmond divided into two schools Edmond Memorial and Edmond Sante Fe!  This is an argument between the Eastside and Westside of Oklahoma for 2 decades!!


Broken Arrow 56 Norman 32

BA is determined to get back to the 6A1 Championship game and by beating Norman is justone brick on the road yellow brick road to get there!!


Owasso 62 Moore 12

Owasso's defensive coordinator is very confident and states that the Rams would be in the top 4 of Conference USA!!  The Ram’s defense has no lack confidence issues!!  Go Rams!!


Bixby 59 Ponca City 7

The Bixby Spartans let the starters relax after a 49-0 lead at halftime!!  With their helmets and shoulder pads off the starters were noticed dancing with the Bixby Drill Team to Chaka Khan!!  This ended immediately when coach Montgomery saw the group!!  But he said he would do the worm (SNL fame) after the game!!!  Cool coach!


Bishop Kelley 38 Coweta 13

The Comets are tough to beat and fundamentally sound!!  Should finally start sniffing that Gold Ball!!


Glenpool 46 at Nathan Hale 6

Keep plugging Rangers!!


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PUMPKIN MAN SPOTTED AT ROBERTS AUTO DEALERSHIP IN PRYOR!  FREE MARGARITAS!


Collinsville 34 at Pryor 21

The town of Pryor was excited when sightings of Pumpkin Man were reported at Roberts Auto Dealership!!  Over a thousand folks gathered at the Pryor dealership as he handed out Margaritas and treats with surgical gloves from Saint Francis Hospital Pryor and sold 38 cars in 2 hours that Friday!!  A record, thanks to the Pumpkin Man!!  The treats seemed to put everyone in a great mood and ready to purchase a new Chevy!!  The treats were needed for the Pryor football team also!!


Wagoner 48 at Grove 13

The Grove School Council indicated they had 578 Coronavirus cases and the Wagoner game would be called off!!  Grove doesn't even have 578 kids in their high school!!  Nice try Grove, and a special thanks to Dr. Faucci!!


Ada 46 Cushing 31


Tough day for my nephew Caleb,  his girlfriend Helga broke up and his high school team was defeated by Ada 46 to 31!  My nephew will find a new girl soon, like tomorrow!!  I must brag that he did make Cushing special teams player of the week, 3 tackles and one assisted tackle!!  


FOS Mom O Meter - Cushing .978 Ada  .960  This was a match

between two groups of super football moms separated only by the dirty diaper toss and the frozen Margarita blender speed contest!!  The ladies had some fun when a Cushing mom, whom I think might be an in law of mine, accidentally hit an Ada mom in the Kister!  Diapers flew everywhere and both sides laughed and did Coronavirus fake handshakes!!  The Cushing moms simply dominated the Margi contest with 7 former moms or current moms who have bartended!. Winning time for a blend and pour Margarita was 1 minute and 34 seconds!!


FOS Diner of the Week:

Prairie Kitchen - 129 Northeast Richardson Loop, Ada, OK   The Prairie Kitchen is known for its baby back ribs and hog jowl!!  Minnie Pearl stated on Hee Haw in 1976 that the Prairie Kitchen were the best dang nab barbecue she had ever ate!!


Holland Hall 38 Verdigris 24

Current Holland Hall and future Army defensive end Owen Ostraski had two sacks, two pass deflections, and 4 TFSs (tackles for losses)!!!


Cascia Hall 48 Roland 18

The Commandos were short-handed 13 players but not from Coronavirus!  These young men were simply suspended for having a huff and puff party at Woodward Park!!  No names of the Cascia football team or Edison Cheerleaders were given due to underage laws!


Cashion 38 Tonkawa 28

Cashion was simply much more physical than Tonkawa and kept the Buccaneers off-balance all night!!


FOS NFL Picks:


Browns 35 Raiders 28

The Browns are on a roll and their leader Baker Mayfield is riding this wave of wins for into the annals of Cleveland Browns history!!




Chiefs 42 Jets 13

The Jets coach Adam Gase, who shows a strong resemblance to a young Harvey Weinstein,who's family is selling his house in New York and moving to Midland, Texas to coach the local high school team!!  Coach Gase is said to be a dead man walking to the Jets ownership with his 0-7 record and no signs of improvement!!



Saints 24 at Bears 16

The Saints are fighting for their playoff lives and with a road victory over da Bears that may help get them over the hump!!


Cowboys 31 at Eagles 27

The Cowboys and QB Andy Daulton are keeping the Boys on top of the National League Least Division!!  Eagles QB Wentz threw an interception to secure the game for the Cowboys!!




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Baltimore 23 at  Pittsburgh 21

These two defenses are so vaunted that it made me look up the word vaunted!!  It usually means praised and boasted, but with football, it can also mean ass-kicking and deadly!  The difference in the game happened when Steeler QB Rothlrnsberger stepped out of the endzone with his size 16 shoes for a safety!!


FOS Words of Wisdom from the unwise one:  Axe Cologne is the new Old Spice!!



Have a great sports week!


by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org





B, in T

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Thursday, October 22, 2020

Texas Coach Herman has a Very Hot Seat!




Faked Out Sports/Bryan in Tulsa

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PUMPKIN MAN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!  PUMPKIN MAN SIGHTINGS AT TULSA HILLS AND A YOUTH SOCCER GAME!!


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FOS Notes:
  • Inside sources tell me that the Texas Board of Regents has a shortlist for the next coach to replace coach Herman.  Here is the shortlist:  1. God   2. The Pope  3. Superman  4. Mike Leach HC MSU  5. Kliffy Kingsbury HC AZ Cardinals.  Longshots are said to be:  Chip on HGTV's Fixer Upper, and movie star, Texas alum and weird car commercial dude Matthew McCoconutey!!
  • Sightings of Pumpkin Man AND Big Foot Have Finally been Authenticated, THESE PHOTOS HAVE NEVER BEENVIEWED!! 
  • One National Debate between Mumbles Biden and Frumpy Trumpy is enough for a any world power to take in one evening!!  This debate was a hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck inside a crashing elevator in a skyscraper!! Hopefully the VPs can bring back some morality and decency to  this election!!
  • The current MLB format for a 58 game season reminds me of the cheap plastic gifts you get for 500 tickets at Chucky Cheese!!  Not worth a shat!!  For teams like the Cardinals, Marlins and Reds who think they are good when they really only won a putt-putt miniature golf trophy or a participation trophy 🏆!!
  • A ’Karen’ on steroids is loose in Logan, Ohio!!  A young lady in Logan became upset at her son’s middle school football game when 2 Barney Fife security guards at 5’3” and 290 lbs tasered her for not wearing her Coronavirus mask!!  In true Ohio high school football fashion,the game continued as the young mom screamed and was carried to the local Logan poky!!  Cheerleaders continued there routines, referees threw their flags, and the young men played football despite what seemed like a gangland slaying in the stands!
  • CREEPER SPREADER EVENT-  This term not a new horror movie by Rob Zombie but simply an event sponsored by the White House where political talking heads gather without masks, hug at will, and spit, slobber, and spread Coronavirus while wearing expensive suits!!  Imagine if many Washington hoyty toyties including the President and First Lady testing positive for Caronavirus!!  That would be really, really foolish!!
  • Port City Auto Racing is an unknown jewel in these Pandemic times!  More on Oklahoma racing next week!
  • Bixby Spartan 2021 possible Non-Conference opponents:  1.  Jenks, 2. Oklahoma State Scout team. 3.  NEO  4.  Owasso  5.  Alabama - Grumpy Saban is trying to upgrade his schedule from Colgate!  6.  New York Jets...........or Giants!


FOS College Football Picks:

Tulsa 31 at USF 24
The crowd of Golden Hurricane fans was very sparse in Tampa, Florida due to Coronavirus
concerns and high age risks!!  A number of TU high-risk fans decided to have a watch party at Cains Ballroom in Tulsa!!  The owner of Cains Ballroom, who will remain nameless, offered to charge a flat price for the game and supply a buffet catered by Western Sizzler!!  Coronavirus Masks were required although numerous TU patrons wore Halloween masks!!  Testosterone started to fly when two TU post-retirement age men argued over whether the Coronavirus was brought to the USA by China or from the same Aliens that make crop circles!!  The gents gave each other fake hugs and commenced to watch the ’Cane kick some arse!! 

Oklahoma State 35 Iowa State 31

Oklahoma 45 at TCU 38
Scouts from the Boca Raton Constipation Clinic Bowl were in Fort Worth to offer the winner of this game the first Bowl invite of the Bowl season!!  Some of the Sooner faithful are still holding hope to be the first four-loss team invited to the final four of college football!!  The other half of Sooner faithful want coach Grinch tarred and feathered, then buried in the sand with honey and killer red ants!!  Typical former Heisman Trophy candidate Rattler day, with 340 yards, 4 TDs, and 4 interceptions!!  

**********Upset Special************
Minnesota 36 Michigan 24
Golden Gopher Quarterback Tanner Morgan put a 3 touchdown, 0 interception nail in the coffin of Michigan coach kaki!

Kansas State 42 Kansas 25
The Mildcats of Manhattan seems destined to the Big 12 title game at Jerry World against the Oklahoma State Cowboys!!  Kansas coach Miles is destined to do more Dr. Pepper Fanville commercials! 

Texas Tech 45 West Virginia 31
Texas Tech treats the Mountain men like the Red Raider mascot wears his black mask and tights!!  Very disgusting!!  

SMU 35 Cincinnati 31
The Ponies put the Bearcats away with a late touchdown pass from QB Shane Beuschel with 35 seconds remaining!!

Ohio State 48 Nebraska 24
BIG 10 FOOTBALL IS FINALLY BACK!!  Nebraska wishes it were not in Columbus!!

Alabama 41 at Tennessee 31
The Crimson Tide and Grumpy are looking to schedule the Dallas Cowboys next year for an easy non-conference win!!


Notre Dame 42 at Pittsburg 31
The luck of the Irish continues in the City of Steel!!

Texas 42 Baylor 28
Texas coach Hermann is as popular in Austin as President Trump is in China!!



FOS High School Picks:

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Owasso 48 at Mustang 31
Two 6A powerhouses battle for the right to play Missouri State in the Quaalude Bowl in Bangor, Maine!!  Mustang is the Jenks of the OKC area!!  Here are the Mustang/Owasso game over/under for:
 1. Tahoes in the parking lot is -1350
 2. Fur coats on Mustang side -350
 3. Fur coats on Owasso side -9
 4. Black Tight-fitting Spandex pants - 935
 5. SUVs with ’My child is an Honor Student’ sticker on the back window- 1436

Take the over on all!

Broken Arrow 42 at Edmond Sante Fe 34
Another haymaker with the west side!!  The Tigers are road warriors in the latter part of the football season!!  

Union 42 Norman North 21
Norman North has tremendous size for a west side team!  Union has more unbridled young talent in a down year for Union!!!!

Jenks 52 Yukon 27
The Jenks team moms are called the Trojan War Horse Mothers!!  They are responsible forThursday team meals, team mom cowbells with player number, and of course, preparing the team bus with balloons and to-go snacks!!  The moms are super but if you yell at her son in a game she will cut out your spleen!!

Bixby 56 at Muskogee 28
The Bixby Spartans are rated 7th in the nation by the USA Today high school football poll!!  This
reminds me the Sooners are rated 12th in the latest USA high school poll!!  The Bixby youngsters were placed on 3 brand new state of the art buses sponsored by Dr. Stevens DDS!!  These buses have mini kitchen pantries for the players and a large bar for the Spartan Boosters!!

BTW 44 at Ponca City 12
With BTW’s top 2021 player in Oklahoma, Gentry Williams recovering with a blown ACL the talent just keeps reloading on the north side of T Town!!

Bishop Kelley 38 at East Central 18
🎃🎃🎃ALERT- Pumpkin Man was seen at the Tulsa Hills shopping center handing out Fake Vampire Teeth to the young people!  These teeth were nonedible due to the Coronavirus!!  Thank you Pumpkin Man!!  Later in the evening the Man known as Pumpkin was spotted at the BK vs EC football game at the East Central Stadium!!  Pumpkin Man went millennial and handed out Halloween treats such as tofu candy corn, gluten-free Rice Krispie Treats, and Pumpkin mint dental floss!!  



Claremore 62 Nathan Hale 6
My Hale Rangers are having a tough 2020 but have played each game with pride and determination!!  As soon as we get some Jenks players to move into the 21st and Sheridan area we will get our revenge!!

Pryor 35 at Sapulpa 34
Pryor foreign exchange student from Yugoslavia, Slov Lambrusko
kicked a 53 yard field goal as time ran out!! 

Wagoner 45 Oologah 26
The Bulldogs may run the table this year!!  What's new!?

Cushing 42 at Blanchard 31
The Maroons have a three-win season for the first time since my brother Mike was all-Kay County Defensive Lineman and FFA King Moo runner-up!!  The Chisolm team immediately went dove hunting after the game!!  The doves were given glow in the dark feed and unleashed into the wild for night dove hunting!!

Tonkawa 38 at Hinton 20
The Buccaneers of Tonkawa are getting in playoff condition......again!  Cousin Charlie is the Grand Marshall of the Tonkawa Halloween Parade!!  Mysteriously he was dressed as Pumpkin Man and threw out Coronavirus safe wrapped pumpkin bread!!


FOS Mon O Meter-- Hinton moms .955 Tonkawa moms .940
Again great moms from both sides!!  The main difference between the two teams came down to lamb wool shaving!!  There is an art to shaving Lambswool and the Hinton moms have mastered it!!  They have created a machine similar to the cow milking machine, to shave Lambswool!!  Do not get the machines confused!!

FOS Diner of the week:  Hinton - Gloria’s Kitchen - 1206 Broadway Street, Hinton.  Gloria’s Kitchen is known for her giant chicken fried steak that in some cases covers the entire table!!  The late great wrestler Haystack Calhoun weighed just north of 450lbs during his hay day (no pun intended )!  Haystack once ate two chicken fried steaks at one sitting at Gloria’s!!  True shat!!




Cascia Hall 42 Pacola 20
The Cascia old fart dads had their annual homecoming burger cookout and talked about the old days
of chasing cheerleaders and smoking a fatty behind the gym!!  A couple of old fart Pacola dads joined the group and were offered a burger but declined when they found out that the Cascia hamburger meat was not 100% USDA prime choice!!  The Pacola old fart dads brought some Bud Light Platinum beer and all old farts had fun together despite their opposite sides!!


FOS NFL Picks:

Browns 31 at Bengals 28
The Browns running game is very strong and Baker Mayfield has been sacked 50% 
less than last year!  Baker thought it would be nice to take his offensive line to dinner at the Picadilly Cafeteria all you can eat buffet!!  Big spender Mayfield!   Not.

Cowboys 45 at Washington 38
The Cowboy’s defensive awfulness can only be matched by Washington’s defensive awfulness!!  With Cowboy QB Dak Prescott out,  Colin Kapernick made his Cowboy debut with 320 yards passing!!  Jerry Jones may have to liquidate 20% of the team to cover Daks paycheck!! 

Chiefs 38 at Broncos 20
The Broncos have gone through quarterbacks like Trump goes through Press Secretaries!!  The Chiefs tight end Kelsey needs two security guards to walk him to his car each day because of a female stalker stripper whom he met at the local grocery store!!  



Packers 37 at Texans 24
The Texans fired GM Bill O’Brien and Head Coach Bill O’Brien!!  When you get rid of future HOFamer receiver Andre Hopkins and have no defined receivers replacement, you should be fired!!  Texans D-lineman Watts is contemplating retiring and doing WWE Championship Wrestling as Dr. Death!!

Bears 27 at Rams 20
The Rams QB Jerrod Goff can scramble if he has big lineman chasing him!  The Ram’s could not handle the Bear’s defensive line and melted like butter!!  The Bears seem to have better luck with QB Trubinsky at the helm!  The Bear’s backup QB Nick Foles has playoff experience but he is not a starter!!  He is more of a reliever!!

FOS Words of wisdom from the unwise one:  If writing and you receive more complaints the View, it might be time to hang up the blue laddie pencils ✏️!!


Have a great sports week!

Faked Out Sports- B in T

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by B in T - FakedOutSports, syndicated in SoonerPolitics.org

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B, in T
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