FOS Way Too Early 2020 Heisman Frontrunners!

FOS/ B in T

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FOS Notes ’bout Nuthin:

Birds chirping, restaurants reopening, Governor Cuomo Smiling, and Biden and Hillary holding hands!!  Cuck the Foronavirus!!

ESPN Wanted:  At Least One Producer and Cameraman!!  Immediately!!

ESPN brain trusts have put together such events as reruns of National Spelling bees and HORSE basketball 🏀 with camera angles and feed that was obviously set up by their quarantined children!!  Cameramen, please send resumes to:     

ESPN

P.O. box 2

Bristol, Connecticut  12121-222

ESPN Announces Tulsa own Zaven Collins as one of the top 10 stand up linebackers in America!!  Make Tulsa proud!!

Beware of Weird Smells During the Epidemic!!

Oklahoma Natural Gas has an ad on the radio that says if you smell rotten eggs and hear hissing noises you should head for the hills!!  In the B in T household, we have this drill down to a daily science!!

Seriously!!  Hehehehe!

FOS 2020 Way to Frickin Early Heisman Rankings:

1. Trevor Lawrence QB Clemson, easy pick, needs to shave his head!  No more hair product commercial!!
2. Justin Fields QB Ohio State, he has Heisman talent and speedster wideouts!  Ohio State is loaded around this Heisman hopeful!!
3. Kenneth Gainwell RB Memphis, 2,100 plus yards rushing and receiving as a true freshman!  Long shot sleeper pick!!
4. Kedin Slovis QB Southern Cal, new OC Graham Herrell will help the true sophomore to a huge year!!  Great name, sounds like a Russian mobster!!
5. Spencer Rattler QB Oklahoma, RS Freshman has a lot to prove but has Lincoln Riley as a coach!!  Partied with my son at bar in Norman in February!!  I have pics!!  So proud!!
6. Derek Stingley Jr. LSU DB/WR, possible two-way player who starred as a freshman at Safety!!  Son of NFL’s Darrell Stingley!                                                         
7. Chuba Hubbard RB Oklahoma State, super offense and super stats and he will be the top back drafted in 2021 Draft!  No relation to the Chuba Cobre on Ghost Nation!!                                                                                                                 
8. Zaven Collins LB/Edge pass rusher Tulsa, Monster at 6’5” 260 lbs and 4.6 speed!!  He is from Hominy, Oklahoma where he could be Mayor!!  Great person!!  Homer pick!!
9. Tylen Wallace WR Oklahoma State, great hands and offense that will help him get huge stats!!                                                                                                              
10. Sam Elingher QB Texas, if he can beat OU he might be in the top 5 but not hap po nin!!!!

THE MOUNTAIN' IS COMING TO COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Meet 17-year-old Bryce Foster, the 6'5", 330-pound offensive lineman (and potential Olympian) in the 2021 class that everyone is after.  Oklahoma, LSU, and Texas A&M are the leading contenders for the baby bull from Katy, Texas!!

FOS Coronavirus 45 Day Status Report:

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking or an Oklahoma Meth problem!

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was at the craps table in Cesars Palace in Vegas!!  Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe!!

I need to practice social-distancing from brownies in the refrigerator!

I had a tough time deciding where to go for social distancing Easter Dinner ----- The living room or the bedroom?

The pets are not good at finding Easter Eggs!!

S.S.D.D.---every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Baggy pajamas will have you believe all is well and the bundle of joy is more comfortable!!

Homeschooling is going well.  Except 2 students were suspended for smoking hooch in their room and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone Time!

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.  I came into my house, told my dog about the talking cat and he told me to put down my crack pipe!

So, after this quarantine, will the producers of ’I Gained 300 Pounds During Coronavirus Quarantine’ call me or how do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business!

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it turns blue and cleans the toilet! 

FOS Bobblehead Sports:

FOS Top 6 Remarks Made to New Youth Sports Coach When Introducing Child!!  

1. We must leave practice early for my child's violin practice.....what...ever!
2. My son is being recruited by OU....he is 7 years old dad!
3. I would like to be an assistant coach and I have brought a book of plays for you to implement to the kids!!
4. I would like to be an assistant coach and will help with the glucose-free snacks for the little ones!!
5. I would like to be an assistant coach and I own an ice cream parlor!!  Hired!!
6. My child is a team player but make sure they get the ball if you want to win!!

Words of wisdom from the unwise one:

Practice safe distancing with your spouse unless she says get your ass over here...NOW!!

Have a great sports less week!!

FOS B in T

B, in T

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Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL) Big Brother Bill’s Psychic Palm Reading and Bed & Breakfast (Tulsa, OK) MR Bait, Fishing Tackle and Homemade Fudge Shop (Boulder, CO) Weh’s Wiener Wagon and Dry Cleaners, Lawrence, Kansas T-Brew’s Cockroach Farm and Pizza Palace, Tulsa, OK Dr. Richard Stephens DDS Roy Thomason Retired Sigma Chi TU