Faked Out Sports/ B in T
The smell of pigskin is in the Air!
B in T Picks, Picks, Picks are here as well!!
Pumpkin Man is Lurking!!
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FOS Bobbleheads
Labor Day Weekend means no youth football games!! Little kids can be little kids!!
I just have one thought for the Bobbleheads this week and it is NEVER LET YOUR DAD OR PAPA HAVE A DOOR CAMERA TO VIEW WHO IS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR!!
Ana and Papa B in T are close and Papa might have control of the remote doorbell camera when Ana has turned 16 and has a young gentleman calling on her!! Here are some of the questions Papa B in T might ask the young man via a remote doorbell camera!!??
- What are your intentions punk?
- What time will she be home biiiooootch?!
- Can I see your drivers license and give me your social security number before I call my homies to beat your ass!!
- Will you back your car up to the camera so I can get a picture of your license plate bro?
- Your pants are unzipped dufus? (not really, just see if he looks!)
- My granddaughter Ana will expect you to pay for everything! She expects you to open all doors!!
- I have a picture of you and I personally know a lot of older TU football dudes that will whip your ass!!
- Ana’s dad is 6’4” and her Papa B in T is 6’2” on a good day!! We will both be waiting for you and Ana to arrive on the front porch by 10:45!!
- Have fun you two! But remember we are you watching!! 👀👁👁👁👀👮♀️👮♀️👮♀️
Sports Notes ’bout nuthin:
B in T Will Be Covering the Oregon Ducks Next Year, Why You Are Wondering? Myles Slusher, Broken Arrow!!
Hey Mrs. Slusher, Broken Arrow Booster club member, mother of future Oregon Duck All-American Myles Slusher and friend of B in T, could you please send some NIKE green, size 13 shoes to my address, COD, hehehe!!! Congrats and prayers to the Myles and the Slusher Family in Oregon, from Mr. and Mrs. B in T!!
Who Is The Hogs Third String QB And Why Do We Give A Pigs Squirt?!?!?!
True freshman John Stephen Jones, grandson of Dallas Cowboys Billionaire owner Jerry Jones!! Jerry Jones is also a huge, huge, huge donor to the Razorback Foundation!! Razorback QBs Hicks and Starkel see Freshman Stephen Jones breathing down their necks with a Brinks Armored Truck of Papa’s money!!
Someone Threatened To Go On a Shooting Spree At My Alma Mater?!
What in the Mother Chicken world is happening!! A couple of weeks ago plot to shoot up a TU football game was discovered by the Tulsa Police on a dudes computer that ran for Governor?!?!? I hope I didn't vote for him?? I see a few problems with the plot to fire up the crowd at the University of Tulsa!! First, the idiot shooter might actually hurt someone! Secondly, the TU crowds are sparse enough without a threat scaring the fan base away for future games at TU! Thirdly this really proves my point that all politicians are CRAZY!
FOS by B in T College Football Picks:
Oklahoma State 37 Oregon State 27
Friday Night Lights in Corvallis, Oregon is a beautiful sight!! Corvallis is best known for where The Big Valley TV show was filmed!! Google it!! The good news is Oregon State’s defense returns 7 starters!! The bad news is the Beaver defense was ranked 128th in total defense in 2018!! Coach Mullet Gundy did the switch-a-roo and started 6-year senior Dre Brown and he jumped on the Oregon State defense like a beaver on a pine tree!! Pistol Pete again shoots the loud pop gun and scares the shat out of a Back Judge Referee and the Cowboys received a 15-yard misconduct penalty!! The Cowboys tuck their tails and get the heck outa Corvalis before the Beavers naw back!!
Michigan State 38 Tulsa 31
The Spartans of Spartacus are dueling the Golden Hurricane of Tulsa in East Lansing, Michigan! The Vegas spread has the mighty Spartans favored by 4 touchdowns!! The TU defense keeps them in the game with linebacker Zaven Collins from Hominy spending a lot of time in the State backfield!! Evidently he spent so much time in the Spartan backfield that the State radio announcers started looking for a number 23 on their Spartan depth chart!! Tulsa Quarterback Zac Smith completed 68% of his passes and looked very comfortable in a hostile environment! The Hurricane fans were seated in Section 1023, Row ZZX where it was so high up that a number of TU fans asked for oxygen masks!! When the Budweiser Man came by he was lassoed and forced to sell all the beer to the TU section in fear we might never see another beer salesman or human again!! Tulsa Linebacker Zaven is a superstar in the making!! Mr. Collins is an early 2020 front-runner for Heisman!! You heard it from FOS/B in T, FIRST!
Oklahoma 52 Houston 38
The debut of Jaylen Hurts in an OU uniform and not an Alabama uniform has finally arrived!! Sooner Nation’s chest are puffing high ever since a guy named Mordechai was replaced by a Crimson Tide super stud grad transfer!! Houston QB D’Eriq King runs a few circles around coach Grinch’s defense but OU’s defenders eventually find out he cannot throw an accurate long ball!! Houston coach Dana Holgersen decides to trim his accidental mullet for his debut with the American Athletic Conference team!! Coach Lincoln Riley did not recognize his old friend with the trimmed up haircut and asked him for a Coke and a hot dog 🌭 during pregame warmups!! True story!! I promise!!
Arkansas 58 Portland State 20
The Hogs vs the Vikings of Portland State would be a good game for a recovering gambler since there is no line in Las Vegas!! SMU grad transfer, Ben Hicks threw for 380 yards and 5 touchdowns in the first half then sat on the sideline with pads off in the second half!!! A la Thomas Lott of OU in the 70s!! Coach Morris immediately made Hicks put his pads back on and stop talking to the Arkansas Pom Pon squad!! Backup QB Nick Starkel, a Texas A&M transfer, finished the second half!
Starkel maybe next weeks starter against the powerhouse Little Rock-North, High School!!
Cincinnati 41 UCLA 27
A good win for the American Athletic Conference, as Bearcat sophomore QB Desmond Ridder kept the offensive pressure on the Bruin defense all day!! The Bruins really got serious and pulled out the mean-looking baby shark light blue jerseys trimmed with the glow in the dark yellow trim!! The Bearcats were trembling in their Adidas cleats!! NOT!!
Texas A&M 52 Texas State 17
The Texas State Bobcats and their Coach Jake Spavital (Tulsa Union High School stud QB) had their hands full at College Station!! A&M quarterback Kellen Monds passed for 295 yards and ran for 92 yards!! A&M RB Jashaun Corbin ran for 111 yards and 2 touchdowns!! Aggie mascot Revel, the dog from the TV Show Lassie, hiked his leg on two Texas State cheerleaders and was given a filet mignon steak!!
Clemson 45 Georgia Tech 13
Clemson’s QB Trevor Lawrence was late to pregame warmup when a number of Clemson and Georgia Tech cheerleaders attacked young Trevor while his parents tried to sneak him into the side entrance of the Clemson locker room!! Evidently, a Gamecock cheerleader spotted his family car and did a max text to all the Clemson and Georgia Tech cheer quads, with location!! Forty-two stadium police arrived and fought off the cheerleaders for thirty minutes thus delaying the Fox Sports coverage of the game!! Fox Sports received a 18.9 rating for covering the cheerleading/Clemson Stadium brawl but only a 7.6 rating for the Clemson/Georgia Tech game!!
Wisconsin 44 South Florida 31
The Badger’s offensive line averages 341 pounds per manchild and eats raw meat before each game! Very true story!! South Florida senior QB Blake Bennett has a good game despite Coach Strong’s attempt to call plays!! Wisconsin’s ability to control the line of scrimmage with the run game and running back Jonathan Taylor’s 188 yards rushing wore down the South Florida defense!! Normally I would pick a Bull over a Badger, at home, but this Badger team had their own mean Bulls on their interior offensive and defensive lines!!
Iowa State 38 Northern Iowa 20
Iowa State 38 Northern Iowa 20
The Cyclones are attempting to actually matter in the Big 12 Conference this year and it must start with the non-conference games!! This is not an auto-win for the Clones as they are playing in-state rival Northern Iowa Panthers!! Iowa State is a beautiful setting for a tailgate and a football game on a fall afternoon!! Or even a summer day in Ames!! Wide receiver Tarique Milton and QB Brock Purdy connected for 9 catches, 152 yards, and 2 touchdowns!! The connection between Purdy and Milton was very purdy to Cyclone Nation!! Unknown to many Iowa State fans, the Clone Equipment Team is ranked number 1, in the nation!! The team is led by Equipment Manager Kyle Highland from Owasso!! I reached out to Kyle for some comments, but NCAA rules state that he cannot talk to friends of the family during the season!! But he did twitter me that his team ranking was a team effort and the Cyclones use a special ointment to get their helmets shiny!! Although the ointment has not been given to the media, FOS/B in T has the scoop!! The shiny ointment is made from whale sperm, bat urine, Turtle Wax and bacon grease!! Google it!!
Ole Miss 38 Memphis 34
Rebels outlast the Tigers! Both teams have a lot to prove in their conferences!! The Ole Miss defense is very stout and will give the Tigers trouble with their speed!! The Memphis offense led by 6 seniors should challenge for the AAC championship!!
Texas 54 Louisiana Tech 27
The Longhorns did not cover the spread and did not impress the 21 recruits at the game!! The recruits were upset that they could not get a beer (College Station and the Sooners have a keg for recruits) and could not fraternize with the cheerleaders!! No recruits committed and the game was somewhere between dull and lethargic!!
Auburn 38 Oregon 37
Quarterback Bo Nicks is the first true freshman to start at Auburn since World War 1!!! Both of these teams could be in a New Year's Bowl and could also be fighting to get into the Weedeater Bowl!! Auburn Tiger coach Mahlzan’s buttocks is on the alumni stove burner more than my Granny Audoo had hog jowel and pigs feet back in the day!! Auburn running back Boebee Whitfield (also known around campus as Doobie Whitfield!) ran for 145 yards against the Ducks defense!! Oregon QB Justin Herbert was 20-30 passing, with 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. Last-minute field goal wins the game for the Tigers!
*******FOS Upset Special*********
Louisville 31 Notre Dame 27
Louisville Quarterback Juwon Pass, barely beat out Malik Cunningham for the QB job, drove the Cardinals for the game-winning touchdown with 2:32 left in the fourth quarter!! Notre Dame arrived at Papa John's Stadium and were met with intense boos from the Cardinal fans simply because they had a separate bus to take their shiny gold helmets to the locker rooms!! Irish Quarterback Ian Book is pretty doggone good, but he does not have the offensive power around him he had last year!! The Cardinals simply wanted this game more than soon to be ex Irish coach and the Irish team!!
FOS High School Picks:
Bixby 38 at Mansfield Timberview 24
Approximately 7 Tulsa area high school teams make the trek over the Oklahoma state line to Texas and Arkansas to show the neighbors how football is to be played!! The Spartans introduced Mr. Everything, wideout Brennan Pressly and quarterback Mason Williams to the Timberview defense!! Both players stand only 5’9” and it is said that they could not be found behind the huge Bixby line of corn-fed boys!!
Broken Arrow at 46 Mansfield (Mansfield, Texas) 16
Tiger studs such as cornerback Myles Slusher (Oregon commit) and offensive lineman Andrew Raym (Oklahoma commit) dominate on the road in the Longhorn state!! Longhorn coach Herman was seen on his knees crying and begging both of these young men to reconsider Texas, pretty please!! Both players scoffed at him as the walked off the field with the famous horns down sign on both of the young gents hands!! True story!! Broken Arrow fans showed up in 26 busses, bringing fifteen thousand fans!! Texas interstate 75 was backed up for miles, a la Field of Dreams!! The kick-off time was backed up 1 hour due to the BA crowd!! Broken Arrow booster club board member, Blanca Slusher handed out fudge brownies for all the Broken Arrow fans during the delay!! Supermom!!
FOS Mom-O-Meter Mansfield Moms .986 Broken Arrow Moms .985 Perhaps the closest competition in Mom-O-Meter history!! The Mansfield moms are known worldwide for their Clog dancing due to the large population of Dutch-German in the area!! The BA moms were upset when Clogging was added to the competition and they only had 4 days to find Cloggers in Broken Arrow!!
FOS Dinner of the Week: Mansfield, Texas: Twisted Root Burger Co. 119 S. Main Street Best burgers and shakes in the Lone Star state!! Custom made burgers to your taste buds!! Lincoln Riley once ordered a bacon burger, extra bacon, and a peanut butter chocolate shake!! He ordered from his room at the Holiday Inn Express Hotel where he was recruiting for East Carolina before coaching at Sooner Nation!!
Jenks 41 at Mansfield Legacy (Mansfield, Tx) 21
The Trojans handled the Legacy surprisingly easy since Legacy was projected to be in the Top 5 of 3A!!
Wideout/TE Bo Estes was Mr. Clutch for the Trojans with 6 catches for 103 yards and 2 touchdowns!
Cascia Hall 38 Gravette, Arkansas 12
The Lions of Gravette, Arkansas did not seem afraid of the Commandos but ran into some Commando speed that they were not expecting. Cascia has a 28-0 halftime lead and coasted in the second half!! Numerous Cascia faithful left at half-time and went to Utica Squares Wild Fork where there was a room reserved for the Commando Booster Club!! After spending a small amount of time chatting on the game, the conversation drifted somewhat into which Plastic Surgeon does the best boob job!! The discussion/argument became heated until one of the Surgeons and his wife entered Wild Fork!! The topic switched back to the football game and all was hunky-dory!! After the game, the Cascia kids went to The Gathering Place to make-out and smoke!!
Owasso 46 at Bentonville West, Centerton, Arkansas 27
The Owasso Ram team has super talent and a great coach by the name of Bill Blankenship!! Coach Blankenship is known as the Quarterback whisperer of Oklahoma!! Bentonville West could not stop the Owasso Rams potent offense!! Owasso Running Back Isiah Jacobs who as a Sophmore has offers from everyone from Oklahoma to the Dallas Cowboys!! Oh, by the way, he ran 12 times for 186 yards and 2 touchdown!!
BTW 38 at North Little Rock, Arkansas 30
Booker T Washington’s sophomore QB
Gentry Williams, who has on offer from Oklahoma in his hip pocket, threw for 2 touchdowns and ran for 2 more!!
Union 37 at Lake Ridge (Mansfield, Texas) 13
The Union Redskins travel to Mansfield, Texas to meet Lake Ridge in a tilt of state powerhouses!! Kansas University commit receiver Kyler Pearson caught 7 passes for 98 yards and a touchdown!! Union defense played a great first game!!
Words of wisdom from the unwise one: At my age whether my wife hides the viagra or the TV clicker, they both are catastrophic!
Have a great sports week!!
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Chris Taylor, sports writer FanSided
Bob’s Bail Bonds and Car Wash (Chicago, IL)
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